


Ich bin das Heiliges Römisches Reich

by Starren_Moonstone



Series: Timewatch [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starren_Moonstone/pseuds/Starren_Moonstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Prussia is working on details for the nation and bosses party coming up, he starts forming and carrying out a plan concerning Italy and Germany (without their knowledge). Meanwhile, Germany has flashbacks of his past and has to face up to one fact he has been running away from ever since he became Germany.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> General notes for this story: italics mean memories or dream sequences and normal letters are for present day.

                Italy looked out at the countryside of Germany's country. Italy sighed at the sight; he could never get enough. The temperature was comfortable, which was odd considering the fact that the days were supposed to be getting colder. Italy couldn't handle the cold well; needless to say, he didn't like this time of year in Northern European countries.

                So why exactly was he going to Germany's place? Simple; he wanted to be with Germany. Nothing could really keep Italy away from Germany for long.

                Italy looked up at the sky with a sad smile. 'Well, almost anything,' he thought before continuing on.

                The first thing that greets Italy are Germany's dogs: Blackie, Berlitz, and Aster. They all ran up to Italy and tackled him down. It used to be that Italy was terrified of Germany's dogs because they were so big, but after some time, Italy grew comfortable with the animals.

                "Oh, come on, now. I just got here," he said, playfully pleading as the dogs licked his face.

                Berlitz was the first to get off of Italy, and he ran to some other part of the house, no doubt to get Germany. The other two pinned Italy down for a little longer before getting off of the Italian nation. Italy sat up, but didn't stand up just yet. He petted the two dogs on the back of their necks.

                "Italy!" Germany's voice came.

                Italy looked up to see Germany in casual clothes and looking at Italy with a questioning face. "What are you doing down there?"

                "You're dogs were very happy to see me and knocked me to the ground. I'm ok though." Italy gave Germany a bright beaming smile. It felt good to be back with Germany, alone…

                "Ita!" Prussia said, coming up from the house, Gilbird perched on his shoulder, "This is a surprise. West didn't tell me you were coming over."

                "You never asked," Germany said through gritted teeth.

                Italy could not help but laugh. Even though he was some ways away from his country and homeland, he felt like he was home again. He always did whenever he went to Germany's place. Probably because he was by  _that_  place…

                "Come on!" Prussia said happily, pulling Italy to his feet, "I can show you the poster I'm making."

                "Poster?"

                "It's for the party! Sort of. I'm only giving it to a few people. And you, Ita, are one of the lucky ones. Once I finish with this awesome work. I would give one to West, but he despises all awesome fun things." Prussia gave Germany a playful evil-eye, before going into the house, dragging Italy with him.

                Italy glanced back; Germany was standing there, with his dogs, looking on and shaking his head. His eyes showed to Italy that Germany didn't mind any of this, which made Italy glad. The look in his blue eyes, it was soft, almost like the midday sky.

 

_Italy stood in the middle of the road with his broom. He looked at Holy Roman Empire, who looked back at him. Neither of them said anything; neither one had to. Just to look at the other was enough for them._

_Holy Roman Empire was the first to move. He walked up to Italy, tears in his eyes, which also brought tears to Italy's eyes as well. They kiss, on the lips, and it was the most bittersweet thing in the world. When they drew away from each other, Holy Roman Empire placed something in Italy's hand, and forced his hand to hold it tight._

                " _Don't forget me, Italy."_

                Italy's eyes snapped open. 'That dream again,' he thought as he lay there in the darkness. Germany mumbled something in his sleep. Slowly, Italy put his head on top of Germany's chest, intertwining his hand and Germany's. Here, Italy felt the safest.

                Lately, Italy's dreams had been about his first love: Holy Roman Empire. It was odd since it had been a long time since Italy had thought about him. But since Germany's odd romantic attempt, Italy had been having this same dream where Holy Roman Empire was leaving. One last promise to the boy with bright sky-blue eyes.

                Even now, after all this time, Italy still felt as though his heart belonged to that boy from long ago. In truth, Italy was still waiting for that boy to come home, even though he knew that boy died. Faded out of existence.

                Tears rolled down his cheeks. Italy wiped them away and buried his face into Germany's chest. 'Can you protect me from myself?' he wondered silently, 'Can you protect me from my nightmares, Ludwig?' Sure, he could have taken one of Spain's pills (it had been a while since he took one of them), but deep inside, Italy wanted to have these dreams, since they were the only times he could actually see Holy Roman Empire.

_"Holy Rome?" Italy asked. He stood at the doorway of the room. Holy Roman Empire was lying on the bed, almost lifeless. His breathing was very shallow._

_Italy inched forward into the room, and sat down in the chair next to the bed. He took Holy Roman Empire's hand, which was stone cold. Italy tried to warm it up by rubbing the hand, but nothing would help. It stayed cold._

_"Per favore, Holy Rome," Italy whispered as he prayed on the cross Holy Roman Empire gave him, "Wake up. Say something. Per favore."_

                Italy woke up with tears in his eyes. Germany was gone, which freaked out Italy for a good three minutes until he heard Germany yelling at Prussia for some reason or another, most likely because Prussia was passed out in the kitchen again. Italy sighed and fell back on the bed. He was constantly afraid of Germany leaving him; it was a stupid fear, he knew that. He just didn't want to be alone. The mansion didn't help this fear any, in fact it only made it worse.


	2. Chapter 2

                Germany found a book lying on the kitchen counter when he went into that room in the afternoon. The cover of it caught his attention; it had a picture of a girl overshadowed by some guy. The girl was looking at a soldier's metal that was in her hands. Germany had no idea why the cover interested him so much. It tugged at something in his head, a distant memory...

                "Whatcha doing, Germany?" Italy asked from out of nowhere. The Italian tackled Germany from behind.

                Germany looked to his left where Italy had his face which was smiling as he usually was. "Reading," Germany stated.

                Italy looked at it for a moment, then laughed a little and said, "Romance again? I thought you said you weren't a romantic."

                "What are you talking about?" Germany asked.

                "It's a romance story. It's one of my favorites too. I was going to read it again, but then I forgot I left it in here."

                Germany sighed. The title of this book was  _Le Lacrime di un_ _Fiore._ "What's it about?"

                "A girl who falls in love with a soldier, who is going off to war. They promise each other that they will find one another again, once the war is over. The girl, Fiorela, later hears that he is one of the missing soldiers presumed dead. She vows that she will never love another again, but then years later, she meets this mechanic, called Angelo, who steals her heart unwillingly."

                "So, what, she has to choose between them?"

                Italy nodded.

                "Sounds like Twilight," Germany grumbled.

                "It's not. It's nothing like that garbage, I promise," Italy said quickly, "It's good, trust me. If you want, I could read it to you."

                Germany smiled inwardly and handed Italy the book. Truth be told, he liked it when the Italian spoke in his native tongue. He made it sound alive, more so than Germany ever could with his own language. The words seemed to flow off of Italy's tongue almost as if he was singing. It was probably his way of talking, because Italy would do the same thing when talking in German… or just talking in general.

                They go outside, where Italy lay down on the ground next to a lawn chair. Germany sat on the lawn chair, looking down at the Italian. There were some days Germany believed that Italy looked like a cat, only without the ears and tail; that was one of those times. Italy started reading the story, translating it into the common language of nations (since the book was in Italian). The story started on the day of their separation, Fiorela and the soldier, whose name was Vincenzo. The two characters had much hope, but from what Italy said, they would never see each other again, which made that first chapter sad.

                Germany felt a tug at his heart and he closed his eyes at the suddenness of it. He saw a glimpse of a memory: _a girl in a green dress with a smile as radiant as the sun_. 'Not again,' he thought to himself, 'Not here. Not now. Not in front of Italy.' The memory disappeared, but the feeling lingered.

                It wasn't the first time something like this happened. This happened every so often for Germany, usually when he was alone. He knew exactly what it was about, and he would not be controlled by it.

                Germany became aware that Italy stopped reading and was sitting up, looking at the book with a sad face. "Something wrong?"

                "Oh, no, it's nothing," Italy said a bit too quickly.

                Germany gave him a look. He had learned quickly after the mansion incident when Italy was lying about being alright.

                "Alright, it's not nothing, but it's ok," Italy said, "Really, it is. It just reminds me of something that happened a long time ago."

                "Then let me read," Germany said, "It will help me with learning Italian."

                Italy smiled and handed the book over to Germany. "You're still trying to learn?"

                "Ja, of course." Germany felt himself blushing.

                Italy giggled a bit. "Then let's hear it then. Let's see if you've improved at all." Italy was smiling brightly, but his eyes still looked sad.

 

**(Some time later)**

                Italy looked through an old photo book of paintings from his past. It was amazing what technology could do, but, Italy would always be fond of portraits and what they showed. Skill, determination, interests; even a scene that very well could have never happened, yet will live forever in a painting.

                He stopped at a picture of Holy Roman Empire. It was one Italy had done himself. He asked if he could do one for Holy Roman Empire, which he agreed to easily. It made Italy happy, especially at the moment, so many years later. The picture itself had Holy Roman Empire sitting on some steps in front of a stone chair. He was holding with both hands a pole that carried his nation's flag. He had this warm smile on his face, the last time Italy saw that smile.

                Italy stroked the side of the face in the picture. It wasn't too long after Italy painted the original that trouble came up for Holy Roman Empire, and he had to leave for war, one in which he never returned from.

                Italy had always imagined that Holy Roman Empire had simply vanished from the battle field up to heaven. Italy never got to see Holy Roman Empire's body after the war and a part of Italy was glad; that he never saw a broken Holy Roman Empire, all bloodied up from battle wounds, cold, lifeless, dead… all the things France said was left behind in the middle of the battle field…

                "He was so small, wasn't he?" a voice said behind Italy. Italy turned around to see Prussia looking over his shoulder at the book, Gilbird perched on his shoulder. "Sorry if I startled you."

                "You're ok, "Italy said, "I was just feeling a bit nostalgic." Italy returned looking at the book, flipping the page. On the new page was another portrait of Holy Roman Empire, right before he left for war. He had a serious face that was toned with sadness. Almost like he already knew his fate.

                "…you're still waiting for  _him_ , aren't you?" Prussia asked, "For Holy Roman Empire to return."

                Italy looked up at Prussia again. Prussia looked inquisitive. Italy nodded guiltily. "But… I know he never can…"

                Prussia nodded understandingly. They sat there in silence for a while, which was unusual for Prussia. He looked on with Italy at the book. "Did you… like him? Like more than a friend?" Prussia asked awkwardly. He looked very determined about the question he asked.

                Italy nodded. "Si, even after all this time I still love him. I don't think anyone could ever fill that gap."

                "…not even West?"

                Italy turned red as a rose. "How did you know?"

                "Please, I've seen the way you look at him when you are with him. It's obvious to everyone… except West."

                Italy looked at the book. "…not even Germany," he said, thinking back to that awkward proposal Germany made not too long ago. Italy laughed about it later, when he was alone, but quickly the laughter turned into tears of emotional pain. "There's just… something missing." Truth be told, whenever he was with Germany, he did feel complete, but he felt as though he was betraying the boy that stole his heart all those years ago.

                Prussia nodded understandingly. More silence, and the pictures moved on to ones of Romano and Italy. "If it makes any difference…" Prussia said, "I still think he can come back. Holy Roman Empire, I mean."

                Italy tilted his head and gave a confused look, "Why?"

                "I can feel it in my heart," Prussia said with all intentions of seriousness.

 

                'Feel it in my heart, meinen Arsch,' Prussia thought as he went to find Germany. Gilbird was on top of Prussia's head; Prussia could feel that Gilbird had the same resolution as he did to go confront Germany. He knew for a fact that Germany was Holy Roman Empire for the simple reason of Germany knew he was once Holy Roman Empire. He told Prussia himself all those years ago when Prussia brought Germany home.

                "Weeeeeeeeest," Prussia said, swinging into Germany's study, except his younger brother wasn't there. "Huh." Prussia took a good look in the room. No sign of Germany anywhere.

                Prussia went to Germany's room, where Germany was at, looking inside a box with some confusion. "What is that?" Prussia asked, looking over Germany's shoulder to see what was inside the box. He burst out laughing when he realized what it was: a pair of baby bloomers.

                "They aren't mine," Germany explained quickly, turning red from embarrassment.

                "Ja, they are. They were with your stuff in the forest. They couldn't be anyone else's."

                Germany scowled. "Don't even go there," he said dangerously.

                "What? I'm just stating a fact."

                "They look like a girl's," Germany said, defending his side.

                "Must have been in style then," Prussia shrugged.

                "Kuhscheiße."

                "Hey, I didn't wear any pants for more than a hundred years. You're allowed to wear girl's underwear on the battlefield," Prussia said with a dangerous grin on his face.

                Germany held the pair of bloomers as if he was going to throw them in Prussia's face, but then decided against it for some reason and dropped them back in the box. Gilbird flew over to the box and got a closer look at the bloomers. Germany pushed the bird off and closed the box up.

                "What do you want?" Germany asked, picking up the box and putting it back on a shelf in the closet.

                "Do you still have your memories from when you were…"

                "Nein," Germany said, cutting Prussia off.

                "But I didn't finish the question," Prussia pouted, "Uncool."

                "I know what you are going to ask and I don't want to talk about it."

                "But why?"

                "You know why." Germany walked out. Instead of following Germany, Prussia let him go.

                'Fine, Mr. Grumpypants,' Prussia thought, sulking. He did sorta kinda knew the reason. Prussia still remembered that one day when Germany was very young...

_"Prussia, please stop calling me Holy Rome. I'm not him."_

_"But you are him. You said so."_

_"Not anymore. I was Holy Rome, but I am Germany. Please acknowledge that fact."_

                Prussia's gaze looked over to the closet where a piece of cloth just fell on the ground. Prussia picked it up and recognized it immediately as Holy Roman Empire's cloak. Gilbird perched himself on Prussia's shoulder; they look at each other for a moment. Prussia's pouting mouth slowly turned into a grin. He had a plan. A brilliant plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le Lacrime di un Fiore - A Flower's Tears (and note, this isn't an actual book, this was completely made up by me)


	3. Chapter 3

                It wasn't that Germany didn't accept the past; he did, more than anyone. He knew that at one point in time he was the Holy Roman Empire. The reason being one memory he had from that time of a battle wound that wouldn't go away. That particular wound coming from France. The reason Germany didn't want to talk about when he was the Holy Roman Empire was for two reasons: 1 – he had no memories (minus battle wound) of that time and 2 – it was a time past that no longer had any real hold in the present time. For those reasons, he always treated Holy Roman Empire as a separate entity.

                There was one other, and in Germany's mind, minor thing that connected him and the Holy Roman Empire, except that minor thing was becoming more and more of an issue. It was a feeling of heart ache, something Germany was still trying to figure out as to why he felt that way sometimes. Especially when he was thinking about Italy.

                'Just as I am doing now,' he thought slapping his forehead with his hand. He should be working, not having school girl daydreams about a guy who doesn't share the same feelings. 'Except for the fact he still sleeps with me. Mein Gott, why do Italians have to be so hard to understand?'

                Germany's eyes glanced at a paint brush that was always on his desk. It wasn't Italy's for a change; it was Germany's given as a gift by a sweetheart. At least he thought that was who gave it to him. Liebste was inscribed on his in his own handwriting, but he didn't have any memories as to writing it there in the first place. All he could assume was that Holy Roman Empire was the one to write it.

                'So why this pain in  _my_  heart?' Germany had often wondered. He had made a definite distinction between his life as the Holy Roman Empire and his life now. He did so when he was young so that he could be defined by Prussia as his own person, and not someone from the past. The pain came up often concerning his feelings for Italy, but that wasn't the only time the pain came up. It would come up as well with the thought of losing Prussia. It was especially bad the day Prussia's country was dissolved.

_Germany locked his door and threw a chair to the other side of the room. How could they? To his brother! Surely the Allies could not be this heartless? They had families too. Surely they knew better than to kill a nation just out of revenge? If they were going to kill any nation, it should be Germany. He was the one to cause the war in the first place. He should take that responsibility._

_"Germany!" Prussia's voice said in a sing song manner, "Let me in, bruder. I want to talk to you."_

_"Nein!" Germany replied._

_"But why?"_

_Germany gritted his teeth, not out of annoyance, but to hold back the wave of emotions he knew was going to spill out of his mouth if he said anything. The pain in his head was close to unbearable._

_"You know," Prussia said, "You're acting like a child. I thought you were an adult."_

_"And why should I care? They shouldn't have dissolved your nation!" Germany fought with all his might to keep his feelings in check, shaking from the effort._

_"Germany, open the door, please?" Prussia asked, quietly and seriously, for once actually acting like an older brother._

_Germany opened the door. Once he saw Prussia's calm face, he completely lost it. He felt like his heart broke completely. He put his head on Prussia's shoulder and cried._

_"Sie beruhigen." Prussia said, putting his arms on his brother's shoulders, "I'm not going anywhere. See?" he pushed Germany away and made a dramatic pose, "I am here in living flesh."_

_"I don't want to lose you again, bruder," Germany said, without realizing exactly what he said. He felt as though someone else had taken control of his voice._

_"Ich weiß. But it is going to happen one day. Just not today. Come, the meeting is going to be starting again in a few minutes."_

                "Germany!" Italy's voice came from downstairs, drawing Germany out of his daydream. It sounded panicked.

                "Come on, Ita. You've got the awesome me to help you. Leave West alone."

                "Ludwig! Help me!"

                "Hey! Get back here! You have the awesome Gilbert, remember?"

                Germany rolled his eyes and stood up from his desk. He wasn't getting anywhere with his work anyway. He went downstairs and saw the kitchen covered in tomato sauce with Prussia holding Italy in a headlock. Germany closed his eyes and smiled inwardly. Yes, he was annoyed that the kitchen was a complete mess, but he would rather have that than the loneliness he suffered through when the wall in Berlin was up.

_Germany looked at the wall that had just finished being erected in Berlin. He touched it and he felt the coldness of the stone that separated him from Prussia. His hand slowly curled into a fist and he slammed it into the wall. He hoped they were happy, that they had gotten their revenge in full. If they weren't… Germany didn't know what else they could take from him. He was already separated from Italy and Japan, his two best friends. And now he was cut off from the only family he had left, one who was now destined to fade from existence. Germany may never see Prussia again… and he would never get to properly say good bye to him. Germany was alone._

_Germany felt that there was a warmth on the wall where his hand was at. Not from his own hand, but from a different source. He had no idea if it was just his imagination or if it was real, but he pretended that on the other side, Prussia was there, telling him that he was alive._

_"Wait for me bruder," Germany said, knowing that the person on the other side would probably not hear him, "Please, please be there when the wall finally comes down."_

 

_Germany found himself in the middle of a field of flowers, forget-me-nots to be specific. A pretty girl was sitting in the middle of the field. She looked up when Germany got close enough; her smile gave a new light to the flowers around her._

_"You came!"_

_"Of course I did."_

_"I was afraid you wouldn't. It took you a long time." The girl stood up for a moment, and placed a flower wreath on Germany's head. She then sat back down and held another string of flowers that she was making._

_"I promise. Next time I won't be late."_

_The smile of the girl faded and the sky grew dark. "Don't promise," the girl said as she faded from Germany's sight, "Because you won't keep it."_

_The flowers the girl was holding suddenly come to life and grab hold of Germany's right arm. They griped tight, to the point of painful._

                Germany woke up to the pain on his right arm. Looking at it, he realized that it was Italy, grabbing hold onto it as if for dear life.

                "Don't… go…" Italy mumbled.

                "Italy," Germany said, shaking his shoulder, gently. He didn't want to wake Italy, but at the same time he wanted to keep his arm attached as well.

                "Please… they'll kill you…" His face was furrowed and he seemed almost panicked.

                Germany blinked. 'What on Earth could he possibly be dreaming about?' "Feliciano." Germany said a bit louder.

                Italy opened his eyes a bit, loosening his grip on Germany's arm. "Is it morning already?" Italy asked sleepily.

                "No, not yet."

                Italy nuzzled his head into Germany's shoulder, curling up into a ball. "It's cold."

                Germany turned and held Italy in his arms to warm him. He did have to admit it was starting to get colder out. "Ja, it is."

                "Please stay," Italy said. No doubt a part of him was still in the dream.

                "I will," Germany said. He stroked Italy's hair as he tried to get Italy to fall back asleep again. He was reminded of the first few months after the mansion incident.  _Italy was, to say the least, in a delicate state during that time, more than usual. He would just sit (or lie) staring out into space, holding onto either a pillow or the book containing his account of the mansion. He'd rarely say a word, and when he did speak, it was always in a quiet voice as if he was afraid someone malevolent was going to hear his words if he spoke over a whisper._

_There was one time during this period where Italy completely freaked out. Germany was over at Italy's house, Romano was somewhere in the house, and Italy was sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Germany was trying to make pasta, occasionally asking Italy a question, in which Italy replied with either a nod or a shake. His head was in his arms which were resting on the counter._

_Suddenly, Italy pushed himself away from the counter, which ended up with him falling to the floor._

_"Italy! Are you alright?" Germany said, coming to Italy's aid._

_Italy's face was in pure panic. "Lud, you have to get out of here!"_

_"Feli," Germany said calmly, "Look around you. We aren't in the mansion any more."_

_Italy shook his head and gripped Germany's wrists tightly. "You don't understand. It's just another trick. He's going to kill you if you don't leave."_

_"Who is, Feli?" Germany asked concern. This was the first time he heard Italy talking about this._

_"Hol..."_

_"What the fuck are you doing, potato bastard?" Romano asked, coming into the kitchen, "I thought you were supposed to be calming him down, not terrorizing him."_

_"I did nothing of the sort," Germany said defiantly, standing up to look more menacing so that Romano would leave him alone. Most of the time, that would work. That day, Romano would have none of it._

_"Romano?" Italy asked tentatively, reaching out for his brother, "Are you actually here?"_

_"Si, I've been here for the last two weeks, comatose. Thank you for finally noticing." Romano sounded very agitated._

_Italy reached out and held Romano's wrist. His face slowly became calm and he started breathing easier again. "So... it is truly over this time..."_

_"What were you going to say, Feliciano?" Germany asked._

_Italy shook his head, "It doesn't matter anymore, Germany. Forget I said anything."_

                It had been a long time since Germany thought about that incident. He always cast it off as a bad dream Italy kept believing was real. Italy certainly never brought it up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: Sie beruhigen - calm down, Ich weiß - I know, bruder - brother, Liebste - sweetheart


	4. Chapter 4

                "World Costume Party!" Prussia told Germany, slapping down a poster on the table. He looked very proud of himself.

                Germany looked at the poster. It did actually look professional. No doubt the other poster Prussia made for it was less professional. On this were festival masks from around the world. "And what am I supposed to say to this?" Germany asked, meaning the poster. If Prussia just wanted an opinion, Germany was happy to give it.

                "Nothing, because you are coming no matter what. All nations and their respective bosses are invited, as you already know. I even made sure you were free that day. And no, you can't schedule anything. Your boss wouldn't want you to anyway." Prussia looked very pleased with himself in a mischievous way.

                Germany was still trying to figure out how this was to be the theme of the party, considering it had to go through Lithuania, who was the one with the most sense in the group. This was supposed to be somewhat formal considering their bosses were to come to this as well, wasn't it? "Not that I was going to say no in the first place," Germany said.

                "Now, for the costume for you…"

                Germany groaned, "Do I have to wear one?"

                "Yes, it is a requirement for you, especially. You don't have enough fun at parties. Now, I have something in mind, but it's needs to be made. All I have with me right now is the hat." Prussia brings out a black hat with yellow trim. Germany takes it and examines it carefully. He's seen the hat before somewhere… probably at a glance since it was Prussia's. "So?" Prussia asked expectantly.

                "I don't have much of a choice now do I?"

                "Cheer up. This is going to be fun. If you want, I even have a mask to go along with it for you to wear."

                Germany sighs and hands back the hat. "Fine, whatever, I'm going." And he left the house for personal training. Once in a while, Japan and Italy would join him if they were around, but most days it was just himself jogging out in the countryside.

 

**(A Few Hours Later, In a Different Country)**

                "Why did I ever suggest Prussia for this?" England groaned as he read the email sent out concerning the theme of the party. He, North Ireland, and Wales were all looking at the same computer screen.

                "You were only being nice," North Ireland said, trying to make his brother feel better, "It could be worse. Besides, a costume party sounds like fun."

                "But our bosses are going to be apart of this too. Do you actually see your boss wearing a costume?"

                North Ireland actually thought about it, and he smiled to himself.

                "My God, you do," England groaned.

                "It's not that hard, England."

                "That's not the real question at hand anyway," Wales said, rereading the message, "I want to know whose idea it was from that group."

                "It's Prussia," England stated dryly, "It's obviously Prussia."

                "But… Finland dresses up as Santa every year," North Ireland pointed out, "I can see him suggesting it."

                "And then there is Poland and Lithuania," Wales said, "Honestly, any of them could have suggested it."

                Wales and North Ireland looked at each other in contemplation on the matter; England just rolled his eyes.

                "You two better not make a big deal about this or I  _will_  scream."

 

**(Back to Germany's house, A Few Days Later)**

                Germany came back to the house after a beer and bratwurst run. He entered into the house, and he could hear his brother on the phone. "…so I think it's about time we put them together finally."

                Germany raised an eyebrow as he entered the kitchen. Prussia sounded like he was scheming something and indeed he looked like it to. Prussia has a smirk on his face; that was never a good sign. Gilbird tweeted loudly and got into Prussia's face.

                "What, Gilbird?" Prussia asked, a bit annoyed, "Can't you see I'm… oh." Prussia nearly jumped when he saw Germany standing there in front of him. "West, your home early," Prussia said nervously.

                "Ja, what are you doing?" Germany put the bag of groceries on the table and stared menacingly at Prussia's feet, which were also on the table.

                Prussia swung his feet off of the table, but held up a finger. "So what do you think, Francis?" Prussia said, "Are you game?"

                Germany rolled his eyes and said, "Don't tell me you're going to tp Austria's house again." He didn't believe for one second that was what Prussia was actually planning, but a part of him wanted to believe that was it.

                Prussia gave his brother an annoyed look. "Hell no. This is better than that," he said quickly, then went back to the phone call. "Perfect, I just want them done before the party so I can see them in their attire… Thanks, Francis, I owe you one." Prussia laughed, "Alright fine, even then. See ya."

                Prussia hung up the phone.

                "What was that about?"

                "Costumes, West. Francis is going to be making a few of them, since he is better at the needle than my awesome self. Mine included."

                Germany couldn't shake off the feeling that the call was more than that, but he didn't say anything. "And I still don't get a choice as to what I get," Germany stated.

                "That's right!" Prussia said excitedly, putting the hat for the costume on Germany's head, "But don't worry, you are going to like it."

                "Are you sure?" Once again, Germany could help but feel something was up.

                "Trust me, West. It is a good costume. Mine's even better."

                "Why?"

                Prussia tusked and wagged his finger, "Mine is a surprise for the party. You won't find out until then."

                Germany sighed. 'Fine, I'll play your little game,' Germany thought as he left the room. There was nothing more dangerous than a determined Prussia.


	5. Chapter 5

                Italy was outside in the back of the house. Underneath the windows, there was a small area in which there was good soil. A while ago, Germany had wanted to put flowers there. But Germany wasn't exactly a gardener. And now Italy had beaten him to it.

                Germany joined Italy outside after a while of just watching him through a window. He noticed that the flowers Italy was planting were edelweiss and forget-me-nots.

                "That is an interesting combination," Germany state as he knelt down next to Italy.

                "Well, I am going to go back out again when I'm done here. I'm thinking tulips in the front, though they won't pop out until springtime. Unless you have a better idea."

                "Nein, it sounds like a wonderful idea," Germany said. He could feel himself blush a bit. "But why forget-me-nots?"

                "They are my favorite. They are like a promise to never forget, to always remember no matter how much time has passed."

                Germany looked at the flowers.

_"Are you going off to fight?"_

_"Yes, though I won't be gone for long. A few months at most."_

_"Here, take this. It's a good luck charm so you don't get hurt."_

_"I won't need it… but I'll take it if it will make you feel better."_

_The happy smile made his heart warm up._

                "Germany?"

                Germany saw Italy's hand in his face, waving around to get his attention. "Ja?"

                "Are you alright? You looked zoned out for a moment there."

                "I'm fine." Germany stood up, "I'm going back inside. Um… keep up the good work."

                "Aye, sir," Italy said happily, saluting playfully.

                That smile… it somehow always made Germany feel better, even when the world was against him. Just one look at Italy's smile and he would feel confident in what he was doing.

 

                Prussia looked down at his hand and stared at it with a murderous look. 'Gottverdammt Blackie,' he thought as he wrapped his hand up. Blackie bit him just an hour ago, as he was trying to get a bonnet on the dog. The area was still throbbing with pain, which was a bit odd for Prussia. All the same, he ignored it.

                Gilbird perched on his shoulder and tweeted concernedly. "It's fine, Gilbird. Nothing I can't handle. It'll be gone in the morning," Prussia said.

                The bird didn't look convinced. If Prussia actually looked at his bird friend, he would have seen the creature look scared.

                Prussia's Skype started chiming. Finland was trying to get a hold of him. Prussia hid his left hand from sight and answered the call.

                "Hei, Preussi," Finland said, smiling as always.

                "Hallo, Finnland, How's things on your end?"

                "Pretty well. I've gotten a few ideas together for the decorations. My favorite one... hold on, I'll send it to you. It's a bit formal, but it goes well with the poster you made."

                "Which one?" Prussia grinned.

                "The one you sent through email. I'm not working with the other one. What about you?"

                Prussia groaned. "I can't find anyone awesome enough for this. And when I do, they only sing in one language. I don't think that's really fair for anyone."

                Finland looked thoughtful for a moment. "Does it have to be a band? We can always use an iPod."

                "But it's not as awesome as live music."

                "Right..."

                "Don't worry. The awesome me will find the right people."

                "I have no doubt about that."

                The file popped up on Prussia's end. He opened it up and looked at what Finland came up with. It was very much formal, but it did look nice. It looked like something from a masquerade. Prussia smiled a bit; he was reminded of the first time he went to a formal party. He made a fool of himself then, but it was still a fun night. "It looks great, Fin. Will you show the rest of them at the next meeting?"

                Finland nodded. "I'm hoping this one gets chosen though. Prove to some our bosses we can be competent."

                "What's that supposed to mean?"

                "My boss doesn't believe me when I tell him that I am Santa." Finland looked sad as he explained, "None of the bosses I've had ever do. They think I'm joking for some bizarre reason."

                "Does he know? You know, about you being a nation?"

                "Kyllä. It took about a month for me to fully convince him of that. I had to get help from Norway, Denmark, and Sweden for that."

                "You'd think by now that we'd actually have a system for this."

                "Well, each human takes the news differently. It used to be easier to explain it to them."

                'When we were actual generals instead of diplomats,' Prussia thought. "Are you going in your Santa suit?"

                Finland perked up. "Absolutely. Sweden is too. What about you?"

                "I'm keeping it a secret for now. But it is going to be awesome."

                "I can't wait to see it then. Can I take a guess? Is it a pirate?"

                "Nein, not a pirate. Save that for Spain."

                "Is he really...?"

                "I'll try to convince him. Both me and France agree he should."

                "And if England also goes as a pirate... either that's going to cause trouble or it will be the best thing that has ever happened."

                "Who knows, though both their pirating days are done, so I think it'll be ok. They wouldn't do anything in front of our bosses."

                "But what about when they leave?" The group decided that there should be some time in which the bosses weren't at the party, just to have some time in which they could be more like themselves.

                "Still not a big deal," Prussia said confidently.

                "If you say so."

                Prussia felt something nudge his leg. It was Blackie, looking up at him like nothing was wrong. "I'm still not forgiving you."

                "Something wrong?"

                "Nein, just one of my brother's dogs being a menace." Prussia used his foot to push the dog away. Wrong move. Blackie pushed Prussia back in his chair, making him fall to the ground.

                "Get off me!" Prussia said, trying to get up again.

                "I'll leave you to deal with your dog problem. Talk to you later." Finland hung up, leaving Prussia alone with Blackie.

                "How does Germany deal with you?" Prussia asked the dog annoyed.

 

                "Germany," Italy said, swinging into Germany's office, "Do you still have the cat costume from Halloween?"

                Germany looked up from his work in confusion. "Ja, why?"

                "Where is it? I can't find it in the guest room."

                "It should be in the hall closet then."

                "Gratzi!" Italy skipped over to the hall closet and opened it up. There were a bunch of old boxes stacked on shelves. None of them were labeled. Italy did think about calling Germany and asking him which box it was in. But Italy didn't, he wanted to see if there was anything hidden that Germany wanted to be kept secret. While the more obvious place for that kind of thing was in Germany's room, Italy searched that place for long enough. All he could find was erotic books, which didn't tell Italy anything new.

                Italy took out the first box. It was a small box and looked relatively new. Inside were photos, which Italy smiled at. They were mostly of Italy, Prussia, and Japan. Italy put that box to the side, and took out another box. This time, something fell out and onto the floor.

                Italy set the box down and looked at what just fell. It was a patchwork, stuffed cat wearing a green dress. Italy thought it was adorable and sad that it was just kept in a closet. It was all dusty.

                "Did you find it yet?" Germany asked, coming out into the hall. He noticed the cat in Italy's hand. "Italy, put it back."

                "But why? It's so cute and…"

                "Please, just do it." He sounded a bit annoyed.

                'Maybe it's because it's all dusty,' Italy thought. Instead of obeying Germany's request, Italy ran.

                "Hey!"

                Italy ran downstairs and into the sitting room, where he attempted to just run through, but ended up tripping over his 2 feet. He wasn't the only one; Germany also tripped on something so it ended that Germany was on top of Italy in a questionable way. Germany groaned frustratedly.

                "What's so bad about it? It's cute."

                "It's also…"

                "I heard a crash. Som… oh," Prussia looked at the situation, and grinned a bit, "West," he said in a singsong manner, "I didn't think that you'd be having…"

                Prussia didn't finish his sentence. Germany grabbed a pillow from a nearby couch and threw it at Prussia's face, which was thrown so hard that it knocked him to the floor. "It's not like that and you know it!"

                Italy took the chance to run back upstairs to the bathroom. There, he cleaned up the cat so that it no longer was all dusty. Germany came back soon enough, but he just watched Italy without saying a word.

                "How come I never saw this before?" Italy asked eventually.

                "It was just something Prussia gave me when I was a kid."

                Italy was still confused as to why Germany was so angry about it being out. It wasn't something that embarrassing. "You should keep it out. It's cute."

                Germany took a moment to think about it. "You can keep it in the guest room if you like it so much. I don't want it in mine."

                "Ok," Italy said, smiling and saluting.

                Germany walked into he hall over to the closet and took out a box. Together, Italy and Germany went into the guest room. Italy put the cat figure on the bed and looked into the box Germany brought in. Inside the box were old costume accessories. Italy took out one of the cat ears and put them on . Then he took out the other and put them on Germany's head.

                "We match!" Italy stated.

                Germany shook his head, but he wasn't frowning nor did he take them off.

                "Maybe you can be a cat too for the party."

                "Nein," Germany said kindly.

                "Then what are you doing?"

                "I… don't know yet. But I'm not being a cat. That's your thing, not mine."

                "Ok, but if you just wear your uniform, I will put cat ears on you."

                Germany blushed and looked away. Italy could have sworn he saw some sadness in Germany's eyes as he looked away.

                "Something wrong?"

                Germany sighed, "I'm just reminded of someone I knew a long time ago. I barely remember her, but for some reason the cat ears remind me of her."

                Italy was impressed that Germany was so forward with his feelings. "Did you meet her at a festival?"

                "Why do you ask?"

                "Well, when I was a kid, there was this one festival that I'd go to when I was living at Austria's. We'd all dress up as cats and wear cat ears and have cat tails."

                "Maybe…" Germany looked lost in thought, something Italy rarely saw Germany do.

                "Are you sure you are alright? Are you getting sick?"

                "No... I don't think so."

                Italy put a hand to Germany's forehead. It didn't feel hot, which was a good sign. Germany took Italy's hand. "Don't worry about me," he said almost in an inaudible whisper.

                "It's hard not to sometimes. You work way too much."

                Germany looked away from Italy. The Italian looked sideways at Germany. "Will you tell me if whatever it is becomes a problem?"

                Germany did not say a word; he only nodded slightly, which made Italy feel uneasy.


	6. Chapter 6

                "West!" Germany felt Prussia hug him from the back, his older brother's head pressing into Germany's.

                "What is it? I'm working."

                "You're always working," Prussia pouted, "I can't find Gilbird."

                "So what?" Germany asked, trying to ignore Prussia.

                "Soooooo, as much as the awesome me doesn't want to admit this, but I need your help."

                Germany sighed. "When did you last see him and where?"

                "Out in the backyard yesterday. And ja, I looked out there already."

                "In the tree?"

                "… I'll be back." Prussia ran off.

                "And then check the front yard!" Germany yelled back. 'That's odd though. Gilbird follows Bruder everywhere.'

                Germany got up and went up to Prussia's room, which was complete and total chaos. Germany wondered sometimes how the two of them were even related. Germany made his way to the little bird house he made for Prussia a while back for Gilbird. He took off the top of it and inside was indeed Gilbird. Germany was going to show Prussia, but then he noticed something. Gilbird wasn't breathing.

                Germany slowly took out the small bird and double checked. There was no sign of life. 'No… I… I thought maybe…' Germany started shaking. He knew this day was going to come, but he didn't want it to happen. Not yet.

                Germany went to his room and put Gilbird in a box. He was going to take the box outside when the house phone rang. Looking at the caller id, it was… 'North Ireland?'

                "Hello?"

                "Hello, Germany!" came the cheery voice of North Ireland. Germany only met him once, but knew that this guy had many tendencies of Italy, except more normal. "Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if Prussia was around. I've been trying to get him on his mobile, but he won't pick up."

                Germany paled. Surely, no one could disappear that soon? "About that, I think something might have happened to him…"

                "West!" Prussia's voice came from downstairs, "I still can't find him!"

                Germany breathed a sigh of relief; he mentally chided himself for panicking "Go out and check again!" Germany told his brother, then turned back to the call, "He's around."

                "But something happened?" North Ireland asked confused.

                "Ja... see… you know how he always has a bird following him?"

                "Yeah?"

                "That bird died."

                "Oh no… so does that mean he's no longer..."

                "I think so. But he doesn't seem to be any different. So I don't think he knows. It had been a long time since he has done anything as a nation since the wall."

                "I'm not an expert per say about disappearing nations. All I know is that they stay around for a while even after they aren't a nation anymore. I know M… Britannia did. So I think he'll be around for a while, just as long as he has some resolution for life or something he needs to do."

                "Weeeeeest!"

                "Mein Gott…"Germany messaged his forehead. While he loved his brother dearly and would be completely heart broken when the day came that his brother would disappear, Prussia was still a pain in the neck.

                "Can I talk to him? Don't worry, I won't tell him about Gilbird. If you're that worried, get him a new bird that looks just like him."

                "I might do that. Danke." Germany walked out of his room, and Prussia barged in. "Here, phone," Germany said, shoving the phone into Prussia's hands. "I'm heading out."

                "Where are you going?" Prussia asked.

                "Out," was all Germany could bring himself to say. He walked out of the house and turned to go into town.

                "Germany? Something wrong?" Italy asked, getting up from his position in the garden. From the looks of things, he was putting down fertilizer to the flower bed where the tulips will grow once spring time comes around.

                "It's nothing, Ita."

                "Prussia was asking about Gilbird. Did you find him?" Italy said pleasantly. Germany didn't meet Italy's eyes. "What happened?" Italy asked, with a very concerned tone.

                "...why don't you come with me? I'm on my way to town."

                Italy shrugged and went along with Germany.

 

                "Something's gotten him into a mood," Prussia stated more to himself than the person on the phone.

                "I wouldn't know," the voice of North Ireland said in a vague manner, "But Prussia, I need to talk to you."

                "What's up?"

                "I was wondering if you had something planned for the entertainment yet."

                "I'm working on it, but it's hard to find people awesome enough to do this," Prussia admitted, "Why do you ask?"

                "I know a group who you may want to call. They are very new, but based on what they want to do, they are probably the perfect people."

                "Sure, why not." It wasn't like he was getting anywhere with anyone else.

                "Great," North Ireland said, then gave Prussia the number, "Ask for either Victoria or Jose and tell them that North sent you."

                "Ok. I do want to hear them though. Not that I don't trust you or anything."

                "I understand. Why don't you come over next week and we'll go together to hear them? I've only heard a bit of what they do, and it's fantastic."

                "Are they a rock band?"

                "Um… they don't really play in one genre of music. They are a multicultural band."

                "Oooh, that sound's awesome."

                "Told you. Let me know when you're coming over, ok?"

 

                "So Gilbird is dead?" Italy asked as they were looking at chicks to replace Gilbird.

                "Ja," Germany said sadly, looking at the baby chicks. They all looked the same, but to Germany none of them screamed Gilbird.

                "So that means he's..."

                "Please, don't say it."

                "Sorry," Italy said quickly. He looked at the chicks again. "Oooh, how about that one?" Italy pointed at one chick that was bigger than the others.

                Germany looked at it carefully. It looked just like Gilbird, except for the fact that it wasn't Gilbird. "It'll do."

                Once they got the bird, they sat at the fountain in the center of town. There already was a problem; the chick couldn't fly. "He's going to notice." Germany said.

                "Maybe he won't. He's busy like the rest of us right now."

                "On certain things, I'll agree on that. But Gilbird is his faithful companion. He'll notice if something is wrong."

                "Do we have to hide it?"

                "He shouldn't know, not now. He's happy right now. He feels important."

                Italy reached out and held Germany's hand and gave a sad smile. "Then do what you need to do."

 

                Prussia looked at the number that North Ireland gave him. He didn't want to say he was nervous about this; he had been calling people left and right for weeks now finding a band who would play. For some reason, he felt as though this was his last chance, band wise. He hated that feeling; it sent chills down his spine.

                Prussia dialed the number and waited for someone on the other end to pick up. The ringing went on for a while, and Prussia mildly wondered if he got the number down wrong. Sure, North Ireland was speaking clearly, but sometimes words get lost in the accent.

                Someone finally picks up the phone. "Hello?" It was someone with a heavy Spanish accent, which surprised Prussia.

                'How in the world did North Ireland find someone Spanish?' Prussia thought as he asked, "Ja, um, is this Jose?"

                "Si...?"

                This was most definitely someone young. Prussia had to keep back his laughter as he said, "You sound uncertain."

                "Sorry, it's just... we haven't had many calls, sir. What's your name and even better, who gave you the number?"

                “Oh, right, he told me to give you his name. North sent me to you. You can call me Gilbert."

                "So, Gilbert, you're a friend of North's?"

                Prussia thought about it. He and North didn't know each other well enough to be friends, per say. They might as well be considered that they withstand all laws of time and age. "Ehhh, more like acquaintances. We met each other through work." Come to think of it, why would North Ireland introduce himself to a human as North?

                "So what can we do for you?"

                Right. Business. "I am planning a super awesome party and I want your band to be the entertainment."

                "Cool!" Jose cheered, then backed off, which made Prussia laugh. "Sorry... it's just we've been doing simple things for a while now."

                "Oh, like?"

                "Mostly just school things. Nothing that exciting and barely anyone shows up."

                "Well, I do want to hear you perform anyway, to hear how awesome you sound, and meet you in person. How's next week sound."

                There was a beat of silence. "Yes, exactly a week from now?"

                Prussia smiled, "Works for me. Where at?"

                Jose gave Prussia the address and Prussia wrote it down. "Good, see you next week then."

                Prussia ended the call and gave a cheer of accomplishment. "Finally! Oh, where is Gilbird?"

                Once again, Prussia took up the search for Gilbird and once again, the creature was no where to be seen. Prussia was starting to worry. He ended up crashing on a couch and staring at the ceiling. 'Where could he have gone?'

                Prussia could hear the door open. "Prussia, we're back!" Italy's voice said from the front of the house, "And guess who we found!"


	7. Chapter 7

                Prussia stared at the bird that everyone believed was Gilbird. Of course, Prussia didn't believe it for one second, especially after he found out this bird couldn't fly.

                'Ok, West,' Prussia mentally thought, 'Where are you hiding Gilbird?'

                The new bird tweeted cheerily at Prussia. He did have to admit, this bird was a good cheerleader, but it wasn't as awesome as Gilbird. No bird could be.

                'And why would West hide him in the first place?' Prussia thought, turning onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. 'West has never done this before, so it must be something important. Maybe he got sick? But I always knew first when Gilbird got sick… and he didn't show any signs of that at all. Except… he did seem a bit down recently, even though we were doing awesome things together.'

                Prussia sighed. 'Even I'm starting to get a bit down. Maybe he was feeding off my own negative, un-awesome energy.' He lifted his hand and looked at the bite mark that the fluffy terror left. It happened over a week ago, it should have healed up by then. But here was Prussia, staring at that mark. 'It doesn't bode well. It's almost like I'm turning…' It slowly hit Prussia what happened. 'Mien Gott, nein. Noch nicht.'  **(My God, no. Not yet.)**  Prussia sat up and looked at a near by clock. It was almost 2 in the morning. Germany would kill him if Prussia woke him at this hour.

                Prussia got his flute and quietly went downstairs to the backyard. He turned around and looked at the flowerbeds that Italy had planted. There was one mound that didn't have a flower on top of it.

                Prussia got onto his knees and dug up that mound, where there was a box buried underneath. And inside the box was Gilbird. For a long time, Prussia stayed in that position, just looking at the dead body of his most faithful companion. Tears brimmed up in his eyes then soon toppled over and ran down his face. Prussia made no movement to wipe the tears away; there was no shame in mourning over an awesome friend.

                'Why now? Why now, when I finally have some purpose again? Gottverdamt.' If Gilbird was now gone, it meant that Prussia was going to be next. He knew his end was slowly coming, but why did it have to rear its ugly head at that moment?

                After some time, Prussia closed the box and placed it back in the flower garden. Then he buried it again and took off the iron cross he was wearing and placed it on top of the new mound. Then he stood up and started playing "Ich hatte einen Kameraden" on his flute. He didn't particularly care what time of night it was; Gilbird deserved a proper sending off. As he played, he had his eyes closed, remembering all the times he played that tune. The faces of fallen soldiers and comrades flashed behind his eyelids. The battles won and lost came rushing back to his waking memory.

                When he was done, he opened his eyes and started to head inside. In front of the door was Italy with a concerned look on his face. "So," he said slowly, "You found out."

                "Ja."

                "Germany was right, that you would find out quickly. I didn't expect you to notice until after the party."

                "Ita, when you have a companion for as long as I have had Gilbird, you'd know when they have been switched."

                They go back into the house. Prussia flings himself into one of the couches in the sitting room. Italy sits at the edge of the one directly across from Prussia. He looks down at his hands, which rest on his knees.

                Prussia looks sideways at Italy. "Go back to bed, Ita. There's nothing that can be done about it. Especially not now."

                "But… what if…"

                Prussia got up and put his hands on Italy's shoulders and looked at Italy in the eyes. "Listen, I am not going anywhere anytime soon. I have a party to finish planning. So don't worry about it."

                Italy hugged Prussia; Prussia returned the gesture. "Now, bed. I don't want to see you half dead tomorrow. It does no one any good."

                Italy nodded and went upstairs. Prussia sighed to himself. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn't believe a word he just told Italy. He was terrified. He had no idea how long he had, no way of knowing how much time he had left. He felt that there was still so much he had left to do.

 

                The phone was ringing, and of course, Germany wasn't home. He was out on his usual run. Prussia wasn't home either; he went into town for a few things. So Italy had to answer it. "Ciao?" Italy asked into the phone.

                "Italy. I wasn't expecting you to answer," said Ireland, "What are you doing over at Germany's house?"

                "Visiting, I like going over to Germany's place when I can," Italy answered.

                "Is he around? I need to talk to him. It's about something that came up with him and my brother."

                "No, he isn't. I have no idea when he'll be coming back either."

                "Shit…"

                "What's it about?"

                "No, this is something for his ears only. I don't want to be telling this to everyone. And I know you like talking."

                Italy was somewhat offended. "Hey, I can keep secrets too."

                "…I guess you also have a weaker brother… still, please just tell Germany to call me back later. Maybe if the time comes, I'll tell you too. Not now."

                "I…" Italy started to say, but Germany came into the room.

                "I'm back. Who's on the phone?" Germany asked, looking at the phone in Italy's hand.

                Italy handed it to Germany, "For you."

 

                Germany put the phone up to his ear. "Hallo?"

                "Hello, Germany," said the serious voice of Ireland, "I heard about your brother."

                "How?"

                "North can only keep a secret from me for a short period of time. In this case, it might be good thing he told me."

                "Why?"

                "If you don't mind with parting with whatever animal companion you have right now, you might be able to prolong Prussia's life."

                "What?"

                Ireland sighed at the other end. "We all have the ability to keep one living thing alive with us, right? It isn't just animals."

                "How do you even know about this?"

                "Let's just say I have experience with it."

                Germany thought about it for a moment. He never really used the ability to prolong a living thing's life; he felt it wasn't really fair. But if he was to do this for Prussia...

                "In the end, it is up to you," Ireland said, "I personally don't care what you do. I only say this because North won't shut up about it."

                "I can understand that," Germany said, glancing at Italy for a moment. Italy was sitting the wrong way in one of the chairs, looking at Germany intently. "Danke."

                "No doubt we'll see each other at the party."

                "Ja, I'll be there."

                "Tell me, do you know who's idea it was to make it a costume party?"

                "That would be Prussia's," Germany said. He asked the group a while back about it, and the credit completely went to Prussia.

                "Not surprised, though my money was on Poland. North," Ireland called out away from the phone, "It was Prussia."

                "Damn it! I was sure it was Finland. He likes that kind of thing." Germany could hear from the phone.

                "Please don't tell me you actually made bets on this," Germany said.

                "Well, we were drunk and we wanted something fun to do. This isn't even the worst thing we've betted on, I can tell you that."

                "Yeah, we sometimes bet on who's from what nation. Especially with the hot actors." Once again, it was North Ireland from somewhere in the room. "Oh, Scotty, guess who won the bet?"

                "I've got to go. I have a feeling a fight is going to break out."

                The phone was promptly hung up on Ireland's end as Germany could hear in the background Scotland screaming in outrage. Something along the lines of...

                "So?" Italy asked, interested, "What's the thing that Ireland told you about?"

                "It's nothing important, Italy," Germany lied.

                "But it sounded important," Italy persisted.

                "Ja, well…" Germany was still trying to process what Ireland told him. It would be a huge relief if Prussia would be able to stay with Germany; the thought of losing Prussia forever was something Germany could barely bare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ich hatte einen Kameraden - I had a comrade (this is an actual song and I recommend looking it up)  
> As a run down for who bet on who, North bet on Finland, Ireland and Wales on Poland, England on Prussia (though he was only in on it because his brothers forced him to bet), and Scotland on Liechtenstein (only to annoy and spite England, since England believed similar to Germany that Liechtenstein was the most sensible of the group).


	8. Chapter 8

                "Are you going somewhere, Prussia?" Italy asked. He noticed Prussia stuffing some things into a travel bag. Italy was worried that Prussia was going in order to soften the blow of him fading soon.

                "Ja, I'm meeting up with North Ireland. He said he found something good for entertainment, so I'm going to see if he's right about that."

                "Oh," Italy said relieved, "What is it?"

                "A multicultural band, from what North Ireland said."

                "Sounds great. How long are you going to be gone."

                "Just a few days, nothing too long. I might even bring back a souvenir for you." Prussia gave Italy a wink.

                Italy nodded. "Just as long as you do come back."

                "Ita, you are talking to the great and awesome Prussia. Of course I'll come back. By the way, while I'm gone," Prussia said, picking up the chick and handing it to Italy, "You and West should find this guy a new home."

                Italy looked down at the chick. "You don't want him?" he asked with some confusion.

                "He isn't Gilbird," Prussia said simply.

                Italy nodded understandingly.

                "Keep looking up, Ita. It doesn't do you any good to be so down all the time."

 

                Germany was waiting for Prussia at the front door. "How long?" Germany asked.

                "Just a few days, West. Nothing to get excited over."

                Germany sighed. Prussia was nervous; he'd push Germany off whenever he was nervous or scared by something. Just to show he was strong. "You'll call when you get there?"

                "Yes, West. Honestly, you shouldn't worry so much about me."

                "Someone has to. Might as well be me."

                "But I'm the older one."

                Germany rolled his eyes. Prussia certainly didn't act like it most days of the week. Germany took out a necklace he put together and put it around Prussia's neck. It was just the iron cross on a black string. Simple, but Prussia hadn't been wearing his since he found out about Gilbird. Germany also noted that there was an iron cross over where Gilbird was buried. "Just come home safely, ok?"

                Prussia looked down at the necklace, then looked back up at Germany. "You might be getting this back soon."

                "Not while I'm still standing, for that I am certain."

                Prussia smiled sadly and gave his brother a hug. "See you in a few days, West."

                Germany watched his brother leave until he couldn't see him anymore. Then he turned away from the window and almost ran into Italy who was right behind him.

                "Italy, how many times do I have to tell you..."

                "I'm surprised you didn't hear me. I tripped into the table and I swore really loudly. But don't worry. I'm ok." Italy smiled for a moment before seriousness shown on his face, "You've been very calm since you talked with Ireland. I thought that you would be more worried about Prussia."

                "Prussia is going to be alright."

                "How do you know?"

                Germany closed his eyes. INside himself, he could feel Prussia with him; a feeling he had never known before. He could almost feel Prussia's heartbeat with his own. "I will keep him alive. Like Prussia kept Gilbird alive."

                "So he is going to be ok!"

                Germany nodded, though he couldn't help but think of an old proverb, "Nothing lasts forever."

 

                Germany sighed and glanced at the clock; it was already close to midnight. Usually, Italy would have been hounding on him to go to bed already, much to the annoyance of Germany. He stood up and went to his room, knowing Italy wouldn't go into the guest room; he had an aversion to it that Germany couldn't figure out. Italy wasn't there.

                Germany went downstairs; there was a light on in the sitting room. Italy was there, sprawled out on the couch, a book on his chest and his eyes closed.

                Germany shook his head. He took the book and put it on the table. Then he turned off the light and brought Italy up to the guest room. Once Italy was tucked under the covers, Germany went to his own room and got changed for bed. He had just put his bed shirt on when he heard someone climb onto the bed. It was Italy; he looked half asleep and was sprawled out on the bed like a cat.

                "I thought you were asleep," Germany stated.

                "I like it in here better," Italy said with a warm, sleepy voice.

                Germany shook his head and turned off the light. He laid down on his side of the bed. Italy messed up Germany's hair so that Germany's bangs were showing. Italy smiled nostalgically at Germany.

                "What?" Germany asked.

                "Nothing," Italy said, yawning and putting his head on Germany's chest, "You just… remind… me…"

                Germany waited for Italy to finish the sentence, but he never did. Smiling slightly, Germany pulled the covers up so that Italy's shoulders were covered. There was no point in catching a cold so early in the season.

 

**(I haven't talked about the book in a while; let's see what Germany thinks of it)**

                Germany did find the story interesting. The relationship between Fiorela and Angelo (the girl and the mechanic) was awkward at times, but precious. It was obvious they were in love, but Fiorela was afraid to love again. She didn't want to love someone close to her again and she felt like her heart still belonged to her first love, Vincenzo. Currently, the situation was that Fiorela and Angelo were out at dinner together. Candlelight, and there was a white rose on the table. This was Fiorela's treat since Angelo had been helping her out so much. She didn't want it to be this romantic though.

                Germany couldn't help but smile at that.

                "So, what part are you at?" Italy asked, peaking over Germany's shoulder.

                "They are at dinner."

                "With the candles, right? Oh, this is a really good part!"

                "Why?"

                "Keep reading, and you shall see." Italy went out of the room.

                Germany shook his head and kept reading. During the dinner, Fiorela and Angelo danced, and Fiorela noticed that Angelo could dance well, even though he constantly said that he had two left feet. Then they started talking and Fiorela talked about her first love (the subject randomly came up) and Angelo suddenly dropped his glass.

                Germany looked up from the book. 'Why would he drop his glass like that? He didn't react at first when the girl said she had a first love. It was when she was saying that he was a soldier fallen in battle, and gave his name… wait…"

                Germany got up and went to go find Italy, who was in the kitchen.

                "Italy, is Angelo actually Vincenzo?"

                "Hey, you figured it out!" Italy applauded for Germany.

                "Then why doesn't he tell her?"

                "Keep reading," Italy said, smiling annoyingly, "He explains why later."

                "…is it a good reason?"

                Italy's face fell into something that looked thoughtful. "I think so… I mean, I've always had someone in mind whenever I'm reading the story, so I'm forgiving about Vincenzo…"

                "Who?"

                Italy looked away from Germany's eyes. "…my first love…" he muttered quietly.

                Germany nodded. He knew that this was a touchy subject for Italy and so always dropped the matter whenever it came up.

                "Would you like help with dinner?"

                "Always," Italy said with a smile.

 

**(Meanwhile, in London)**

                Prussia was waiting on the steps around the angel in Piccadilly Circus. North Ireland told Prussia to wait there for him and Prussia wished that it was at a different location that had an overhead for it was raining. True, Prussia did have an umbrella, but he would rather not be out in the rain. Prussia's mobile phone rang with the tune of a love song on accordion; it was France. Prussia was a bit surprised at first, only because he wasn't expecting anyone to be calling him, especially not France because he just talked with him a few days ago.

                "Yo, Francis. What's up?"

                "Nothing big, I can assure you. I just wanted to let you know that the costumes are done and they are being sent as we speak."

                "Francis, you are awesome."

                "It was interesting working with Ludwig's costume. A bit old fashioned, no?"

                "It is a costume party."

                "That's not what I meant. Are you sure he's going to wear it?"

                "I don't see why not. It's a costume after all, and besides, he doesn't remember anything about his childhood. I showed him the hat and nothing came from it."

                "Ludwig isn't stupid, you know. I wouldn't be surprised if he figured what you are up to before the party."

                "Then I'll think of something if that happens. How did my costume fair?"

                "You have no idea how hard it was for me not to put some flair into it. I even added a wig to this."

                "I was just going to use hair dye. A wig is better; I don't have to worry about West seeing it beforehand."

                "My thoughts exactly." France paused for a moment and sighed sadly, "Something came up. Not with any of the costumes, just… how should I put it, a feeling. Is everything alright, Prussia?"

                Prussia paused. Normally, he and France (Spain too) would use their human names when communicating. It sounded more personal that way. "…Gilbird died," Prussia said, slowly and reluctantly. He wasn't about to lie to one of his best friends.

                "When did this happen?"

                "Not too long ago."

                "Does Ludwig know?"

                "Ja, he was trying to hide it from me he knew so well."

                "Has anything else happened?"

                Prussia thought about it. Nothing else noteworthy has happened since that incident. He did not feel like he was fading or anything, which was a good sign. The injury from German's dog finally healed up, which made Prussia feel better about himself. "No, unless you know something I don't."

                "No, but then again, I'm not looking at you. I'll tell you next time I see you."

                "If," Prussia muttered, the reality of his situation once again becoming all too real for him, leaving a knot in his stomach.

                "Gilbert! It's not like you to get into that mindset. You have to be at the party. It is your creation."

                "You were the one to ask me to put this on."

                "Oui, but you made it possible. I wouldn't be able to, especially what's going on in my nation right now. Even you cannot argue with that."

                "Hey, Gil!" North Ireland said, coming up and joining Prussia on the bench he was sitting at. "Alright?"

                Prussia nodded, "Mind if I call you back later, Francis?"

                "Something came up?"

                "Yeah, North's here."

                "Right, you are over by Angleterre's. Alright, au rivruar. Call me once you get the costumes."


	9. Chapter 9

                Italy, for once, had music on while he was cooking. It was from his iPod that he got as a gift some time ago. Most of the songs he had were upbeat ones that made Italy want to dance. He bobbed this head to and fro to the beat as he stirred the simmering tomato sauce. When the song changed, Italy turned off the heat and went to focus on the pasta. The new song that came on was 'Volare.' Italy started smiling like crazy; he loved that song. So naturally, Italy started dancing with the pasta as he carried the 2nd pot over to the stove. Italy also sang along.

                Once he put the pot on the stove, Italy spun back, right into Germany, who was looking at Italy with an odd look. Without missing a beat, Italy put down the spoon and took Germany's hands. One he laced his own fingers in between Germany's; the other he put on his shoulder. With that, he led Germany through a dance. It was a bit awkward, only because they didn't have enough room to properly dance.

                Germany continually objected, but at the same time didn't pull away. It was the first time Italy really danced with anyone since Holy Roman Empire left.

                Once the song was over, someone from the doorway of the kitchen started clapping. "Well done, lovebirds," Prussia said with a smirk.

                Almost immediately, both Italy and Germany pulled away from each other.

                "It was…"

                "We aren't…"

                Prussia laughed, "I'm just messing with you two. Geez, you both need to lighten up."

                "Welcome back, bruder," Germany said, regarding his brother formally.

                "Did you have a good trip?" Italy asked, after he hugged Prussia.

                "Ja, it was great. I even have a little something from it, if you'd like to listen." Prussia pulled out a USB drive.

                "Si!" Italy said at once.

                "I'll get my laptop then," Germany left the room.

                Italy went back to actually cooking the pasta.

                "You're going to love them, Ita. There's one guy who's Italian. He's great."

                Italy smiled a little bit. Germany came back with the laptop and Prussia shoved the USB in.

                "No so hard," Germany said, scowling at Prussia, "This is my computer you know."

                Prussia stuck out his tongue and brought up a song. Italy recognized it at once; it was an English song that America showed him once. It was from a movie about space pirates, if Italy heard America correctly (he never actually saw the movie). But the surprising part was when it changed languages without warning throughout the whole song.

                "I'm surprised," Germany stated once the song was over.

                Prussia did a dramatic gesture. "That's the band for the party."

                Italy couldn't help but feel excited for this. There weren't many bands who did songs in a different language than their own and next to none who do anything like what Italy just heard.

 

                Prussia felt like he was left out of the loop as he stared at the screen. Poland had called him over Skype. That was not surprising; they've been keeping in contact with each other about party matters. What Prussia didn't expect was Liechtenstein there as well.

                "Cześć, Prusy!" Poland said. Liechtenstein waved in the background.

                "What…"

                "Well, so Liechtenstein found a good place here for the party and told me about it and I was like, "Let's go check it out," and so we got here, and I thought you'd want to see the place as well, and so here we are." Poland moved the camera so that Prussia could see the building. It looked huge. It was a white building with a bricked roof.

                "What is it?" Prussia asked.

                Poland turned the camera around again. "It's a hall. And it even has a stage for that band you found."

                "So you listen to the song I sent you?"

                "Like, duh. We're in this together. Of course I'm going to look at stuff you send me."

                Prussia couldn't help but smile a bit. Poland and Liechtenstein went into the building. It was still huge on the inside. Everything was wood, polished so that it had a glazed look, at least on the ground. The stage was to the left side of the entrance and there were a few doors to the right.

                "One is for the kitchen, the other is just another meeting place. I'm thinking we can come in and out from this door," Liechtenstein explained, as she went over to one of the doors on the right side, "That way the first thing you see is the stage."

                Prussia nodded. "I like that idea."

                "We should like all get together soon to get things set up," Poland said.

                "I'm still waiting for something to come. Once it does, I'll go over there."

                "And what is that?"

                "Costumes. For me, West, and Italy."

                "Ooooh, what are they?"

                Prussia heard the front door close. "The mail is here. And there is something for you, Prussia," Germany said.

                "I'll tell you later. In person. See you later." Prussia hung up the call and darted to the front room, where Germany was looking at a somewhat large package curiously. With one swoop, Prussia took the package.

                "Hey..."

                "My mail. Danke, but I'll take it from here, West." Prussia ran upstairs and into his room. He closed the door and plopped the package onto the bed. Then he called France as he opened up the box.

                "So it came at last?" France said in an amused voice.

                "Just got through the front door. Though West almost opened it. Good thing I ran over there."

                Prussia got the box open and he looked inside. Three clothes bags lay inside. Prussia took the first one out and opened it up. Inside it was a green dress with a white apron.

                "Feli's is on the top, yours is in the middle, and Ludwig's is on the bottom."

                "It looks great. I'm looking at Italy's right now. It's like a blast from the past."

                "I should hope so. I'm glad I had a picture of Italy's dress back then. Yours was the easiest. Germany's on the other hand... well, I had to go digging up some old paintings for his, but I think I got it down to exact detail. Though, I did add a little something to his cloak that you might like."

                Prussia took out the bag with Germany's costume and opened it up. It looked exactly like the actual clothes that Holy Roman Empire wore. Prussia fully took the costume out and gave it a good look around. Exactly like Holy Roman Empire's, except on the back of the cloak was an outline of the iron cross. "You..." Prussia for once was at a loss for words.

                "I thought you'd like that touch."

                "Francis, I truly owe you."

                "Now, Gilbert, what did I tell you before?" Prussia imagined France putting his hands on his hips and looking at Prussia with a playfully chiding manner.

                "I know, I know, but this is just amazing."

                "I think the word you mean is awesome."

                Prussia grinned. "Ja, of course."

                Prussia could hear a phone ringing on France's end. "Merde," France swore, more out of despair than anger. "I have to go, Gilbert."

                "Call me later, so we can actually talk. I really want to tell you about the band that's going to be playing at the party."

                France ended the call. Prussia put Germany's costume on a hanger and put it in the closet. He'd show his brother later. Just out of curiosity, Prussia looked for the wig in the costume bag that had his costume. He found it in the outside pocket and immediately put it on and looked in the mirror. It was a blond wig with Germany's exact shade of color. Prussia adjusted the wig so that all of his white hair was hidden behind the blond. He could help but smile. This was perfect. He pushed back the bangs so the wig had Germany's usual hair style. He'd have to find a way to keep the hair back in that position on it's own, but it would work. And when he got the contacts in, no one would be none the wiser... hopefully.

                Prussia put the wig back in the pocket he found it. Italy walked into the room. Prussia just managed to zip up the bag with the dress before the Italian noticed. "What is all that?" Italy asked curiously.

                Prussia grinned. "Just a few things France sent me. By the way, you don't have to worry about Germany not dressing up any more."

                "Really?" Italy smiled brightly.

                "Yes. And you are going to love it."

                "What is it?"

                "It's a surprise. But trust me when I say that you will be amazed." Prussia grinned dangerously.

 

                Germany was writing up a report when Prussia came in with a black cloak on. "What is that?" Germany asked with an eyebrow raised. He recognized it from somewhere, but he couldn't pinpoint where.

                "Do you like it? It's your costume for the party."

                Germany looked closer at it. It took him a few moments before his eyes widened in realization. "Please don't tell me that's…"

                "It is! Your old uniform! Sort of... I had it made so that it was your size. Mien Gott, you grown since you were that little kid."

                Germany groaned as he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

                "What?"

                "I've spent all my life trying to get rid of my memories of the past," Germany growled.

                "Not that you had any memories to begin with," Prussia muttered, "But all the same you are…"

                "Das bin ich nicht ihm!" ( ** **I am not him)****  Germany shouted. He sighed angrily and sat back down. "Don't you have any regard to how I feel about the past?" he said in a quieter voice, "I want nothing of it. It is too painful." Germany slumped back into his chair. The pains of heartache and wounds…

                "What about that girl that you keep talking about in your sleep?" Prussia asked, with a devilish grin on his face.

                Germany blushed a little. He didn't like the fact that he sometimes talked in his sleep and even less that Prussia knew about it. "She's dead by now. There's no point in remembering."

                "You don't even want to attempt to figure out who she was?"

                "No. It belongs to a life left behind. His life, not mine." Germany looked up to see Prussia looking back with his puppy dog eyes. "I won't wear the cape," Germany stated firmly, looking away.

                "Oh please don't tell me you are going to go in your usual uniform. That's boring. Especially since I know you will look awesome in this."

                "It's me, what do you expect?" Germany said sadly. He gathered up his paperwork and moved into his bedroom, where he promptly closed and locked the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "I'm Still Here" from the movie Treasure Planet.


	10. Chapter 10

                "Ita!" Prussia said in a singsong voice as he entered the kitchen. Italy was just washing up the pot he used for making dinner. Not pasta for once, but potatoes. "Do you know what you are doing for the party yet?"

                Italy looked over at Prussia, who was grinning slyly like a fox. "...yes?" Italy said slowly and in a questioning voice.

                "Oh," Prussia said, looking surprised, "And what is it?"

                Italy put down the potato he was peeling and the peeler. "I'm going to be a cat. I have the cat ears and cat tail and I'm going to be making cute cat paws."

                "Out of all the things you can be you choose a cat? Come on, Ita."

                Italy felt slightly hurt; he thought it was a great idea. "Do you have a better idea?"

                Prussia nodded. "I put it on your bed. I asked France to make it for you. It should fit, but you may want to try it on just to be sure."

                Italy eyed Prussia warily before following Prussia's instructions and headed upstairs. He went into the guest room and turned on the light. There, lying on the bed as Prussia said, was a green maid's dress. Italy looked at it in surprised for some time. It was funny that Prussia had that made for Italy for the party. True, it was a costume party, but it had been such a long time since Italy had worn a dress.

                And funny enough, it looked just like the dress Italy had worn when he was a child. Italy shrugged and tried on the dress. It fit fine. He went over to the mirror and looked at himself. He still wasn't sure if he was actually going to wear it to the party. Not that he would be embarrassed if he did; he just wasn't sure what Germany or Romano would say to it. Romano was still a bit traumatized by the fact he was force to wear a dress when he was a kid. And Germany… well… Germany was always telling Italy to man up, and being in a dress may not be what Germany was looking for.

                "Um…" a voice said.

                Italy turned to see Germany in the doorway in shock. "This…" Italy tried to explain, but the words disappeared from his mouth. He ended up just blushing and looking like an adorable idiot.

                "It's fine… it's for the party, right?"

                Italy nodded. For some reason, he felt as though they had been in this position before… with Holy Roman Empire. Different circumstances, same feeling. For once, the memory actually made him laugh a little bit instead of just making him feel sad.

                "You look… pretty…" Germany started blushing. He used his dominant head to reach the back of his head.

                Italy couldn't help but smile, "Thank you, Germany. Do you have your costume for the party too? Prussia was telling me that I'd like it."

                "...did he say what it was?"

                "No, only that I would like it."

                "…not yet. Something happened with it."

                "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure that it will look great on you."

                "Yes, well, I should… put these papers away."

                "Ok, Germany." The German walked out of the room, looking determined. Italy couldn't help but feel there was something else on Germany's mind.

                Italy looked back at himself in the mirror and twirled around in the dress. Then, after getting a good idea, Italy got his cat ears and put them on his head. He smiled; whoever said that he had to choose one or the other?

 

                Germany went into Prussia's room, where his brother was hanging something up in his closet instead of throwing it on the floor for a change. Germany was suspicious of this change, but decided not to say anything about it; he was afraid that Prussia would stop this good change of habit.

                "You got Italy a costume too?" Germany asked.

                "Did you see him in the dress?" Prussia asked in surprise, closing the closet door then turning to face Germany. Prussia looked panicked for a second, something Germany didn't understand, before putting on a poker face. Germany also noticed that Prussia had contacts in, because his eyes were blue instead of their usual red.

                'Weird,' Germany thought, but he reminded himself that this was his brother, who liked to make his eyes purple with contacts, so he really shouldn't be surprised. Germany nodded as an answer to Prussia's question. Something was going on, but Germany wasn't sure as to what it was.

                Prussia grinned a little bit. "Doesn't look adorable?"

                Germany growled. Yes, Italy did look cute in the dress, but that wasn't the issue at the moment. It was that dress... just something about it made a memory flicker.  _Holy Rome, will you come to the meadow with me? We can pick flowers for Mr. Austria and Ms. Hungary. Germany could feel the smiling face of the speaker, but couldn't see the face of her._

                "No?" Prussia said, tilting his head to the side.

                Truth be told, Germany didn't know why he was making such a big deal about it. He didn't have anything against Italy in a dress, it was just... weird. "Why did you put him in a dress?"

                "Because," Prussia said simply, once again looking so proud of himself, "Besides, it was his own choice to put it on. There's something else about it, isn't there, West?"

                "So what if there is?"

                Prussia only grinned. "Don't leave me in the dark, West."

                "Déjà vu," Germany said simply.

                "You've been having a lot of moments like that recently," Prussia noted, "Has something happened?" He was grinning.

                "I've been... seeing things. Memories..." Germany didn't even know why he had been seeing these memories recently. What had changed?

                "You know what I am going to say, you know. And you aren't going to like it."

                Germany sighed, "That I am Holy Roman Empire. I know. I do know this, Bruder. But he and I are two different people now. He isn't me anymore." But even as he said it, Germany felt as though he was lying. That there was still a bit of the Holy Roman Empire in him.

                "Ja, er ist." Prussia looked thoughtful for a moment, putting a hand to his chin as if he was going to stroke his invisible beard. "I think I understand something now."

                "And what is that?"

                "You," Prussia said dramatically, pointing at Germany's chest, "You feel as though Holy Rome was just an old version of you. A younger you that you no longer are."

                Germany looked at his brother. For once, Prussia was actually sounding like his role of being the older brother. "Ja, tatsächlich," Germany said.

                Prussia grinned. "But even if you aren't Holy Rome anymore, those memories of being him still have plenty of relevance. They make the essence of you, whether you think they do or not."

                "Even though I don't know anything about those memories at all?"

                Prussia nodded. He was still grinning. "And I'm going to help you remember them."

                Germany shook his head angrily and walked out of the room. There was no way he was going to open old wounds, even if they were already opening up on their own. It wasn't worth it to remember something that no longer had any relevance in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation Notes: tatsächlich - actually, er ist - he is


	11. Chapter 11

                Italy looked at the files on his computer that his government sent him. He really hated the paperwork. He would rather be at world meetings all day than fill out papers. At least then he was talking with people instead of staring at pages all day.

                'How does Germany do this without going insane?' Italy thought as he closed his eyes and threw his head back in annoyance. He felt trapped in his chair. His own fault for not doing the paperwork sooner.

                He glanced at the calendar and looked at the date. 'Is it that day so soon?' Italy thought as he looked outside.

                The next day was going to rain a bit; Germany was saying that earlier and was annoyed that he wouldn't be able to run since rain only beckons sickness.

                Italy took out his prayer beads that he always carried. The cross on it was the iron cross that Prussia and Germany always wore. An old symbol of heroism, one that Prussia gave to Italy some time after Holy Roman Empire died. As memory of him, seeing as the two of them were friends. Italy had taken it and used it for his prayer beads to always remember to pray for Holy Roman Empire. The colors of the other beads are in the colors of Holy Roman Empire's flag.

                "What are you doing, Italy?"

                Italy nearly fell back in his seat hearing Germany's voice. "Nothing," Italy said quickly, trying to hide the beads.

                Germany raised an eyebrow. Italy held up his beads so Germany could see.

                "Just taking some prayer time," Italy said sheepishly.

                Germany pursed his lips together, looking at the beads, almost like he was trying to remember something. "How do you use them?" he asked after a few moments.

                "Ve?" Italy said in surprised.

                "The beads. I see you use them sometimes, but I can never figure out how."

                "It's not too hard once you know how to do it," Italy said as he placed the cross in Germany's hand. "You start here and you go around the circle, stopping at each bead. So here, you say: 'Nel nome del Padre, e del Figlio, e dello Spirito Santo. Amen.' It means: 'In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.'" Italy moved Germany's hand to the next bead. "Io credo in Dio, Padre onnipotente, creatore del cielo e della terra; e in Gesù Cristo, suo unico Figlio, nostro Signore, il quale fu concepito di Spirito Santo, nacque da Maria Vergine, patì sotto Ponzio Pilato, fu crocifisso, morì e fu sepolto; discese agli inferi; il terzo giorno risuscitò da morte; salì al cielo, siede alla destra di Dio Padre onnipotente; di là verrà a giudicare i vivi e i morti. Credo nello Spirito Santo, la santa Chiesa Cattolica, la Comunione dei santi, la remissione dei peccati, la risurrezione della carne, la vita eterna. Amen. That's the apostle's prayer. You know that right?"

                Germany nodded. "I do know some prayers from the Catholic religion."

                As Italy went through the prayers, he was reminded of the days he wandered through the basilica in constant prayer and meditation. They were lonely days. He went into auto pilot at one point and just said his prayers as he guided Germany's hand around the rosary. It was oddly calming; not the praying (he was used to that) but guiding Germany around the rosary.

                "What does this mean?" Germany asked after a while, "It sounds different from the other prayers."

                Italy blinked. Germany's hand was on the bead in the middle of the third mystery. 'Right, I forgot to translate,' he thought. "These are called the mysteries," Italy gestured at the beads making up that section. "The first one was about Jesus praying at the garden. The second is about him being betrayed. And the one we are on here is about his clothes being taken and the crown of thorns being placed on his head."

                "So it is about his Crucifixion," Germany stated.

                Italy nodded.

                "It sounds a bit depressing," Germany noted.

                "Si," Italy said sadly, "There are different prayers for the mysteries, and not all of them are sad, but they all have to do with Jesus in some way. This is just one I happen to use most of the time."

 

**Italy's Flashback**

_Italy sat in front of a piece depicting Jesus. Over and over, he went through his beads in the vain hope of bringing Holy Roman Empire back. 'Tell me, Gesù, how did he come into your kingdom? Was he broken beyond repair or was he clean of all earthly wounds?' he thought as he at last looked up at that holy face._

_No reply. There never was a verbal reply to any of Italy's prayers. All of them are always left unanswered in the empty stone walls of the sleeping church._

_He stood up and wandered the halls. At the feet of St. Peter, someone had left one lonely forget-me-not. Italy looked at it; he could have sworn it wasn't there before when he entered the building. He had been the only one there that whole time, seeing it was the middle of the night._

_Italy picked up the flower. He was reminded of being in the meadow with Holy Roman Empire. There were forget-me-nots there too. "Remember me…" Italy said absentmindedly to himself._

_He placed the flower at the feet of Mary before leaving the church. Outside, the air was cooler than what it was during the day. The stars were out and were beautiful. Italy heard once that the stars represented all the angels in heaven. He looked at one of them, wondering if it was Holy Roman Empire's star. It shined brighter than the rest._

 

                Germany glared at Prussia as his brother entered the room, trying to be all stealthy. "I know you are there, Prussia."

                Prussia stood up, looking annoyed. "Why do you have to be so good at I Spy?"

                "There's no skill at all. You walk like an elephant."

                Prussia stuck out his tongue and walked up to Germany's desk. Germany put down his papers, knowing that his brother probably needed some assistance with something. Prussia eyed an object on top of Germany's desk and picked it up. It was the paintbrush. "You still remember this then?"

                Germany took it, "Ja. It was on my bedside when I woke up in your house." There was something about it that made Germany hold it tight.

                "You had that on you when I found you. You could never tell me who gave it to you. I can only assume that your Liebste gave it to you." Prussia looked at the inscription. "You wrote that as I was carrying you home, saying it was something you couldn't forget. A promise, or something like that."

 _I have to find her. Mien Libste. Mien bella._  Germany shook his head. "A girl in a green dress… she was the one to give it to me," Germany said after a time. A memory popped into his head;  _he was sitting in front of an else that had a poorly drawn bunny on it. "That's… good, but you should do it more like this." A hand grabbed hold of his own and started fixing the painting._  "She gave me the paint brush to remember her by. She tried to teach me how to paint, but… I couldn't compare to her skill."

                Prussia shrugged. "Anyway, I need some help bringing some stuff down that I need to go through before we leave."

                Germany sighed. He put the paint brush back in its place on the desk and followed Prussia to the attic. There were a few boxes that needed to be taken down. On the last trip up, Germany noticed a painting in the corner. He had seen it before, dozens of times, but this time it caught his eye. It was of two children out in the meadow, both at separate canvases and painting.

                'Is that…?'

                "Oh, so you found one of Austria's lost works," Prussia commented.

                "I didn't realize he was an artist."

                "Not much of one. He does better behind a piano."

                Germany grabbed the last box in silence. One of them was Holy Roman Empire. The other… the other had to have been that girl, the one who have him the paint brush. The painting didn't show her face, for she was facing the canvas infront of her. Holy Roman Empire's was only half shown, for he was looking at the girl.

                Once Germany placed the last box down with the others, he went back up to the attic and went over to the painting. There was another one behind it, one of the girl alone. This painting was not as well done, but Germany felt some feeling of accomplishment behind it. In the bottom right hand corner, there were the initials HRE. 'So I must have done this when I was Holy Roman Empire,' he thought. The painting had the girl sleeping peacefully in a chair, curled up almost like a kitten. The only thing that was missing were cat ears and a tail. 'But... why would I paint something like this?' Whoever the girl was, Holy Roman Empire was completely in love with her. The painting was just the final piece of proof of that.

_Even though you run away when I follow, you follow me when I run away. Why?_

                Germany shook his head roughly and put the paintings back the way he found them. What was he doing? He promised himself to stay away from these memories. They brought unnecessary pain. Whoever the girl was, she was gone. Germany wouldn't be put through that pain for her; she was just someone from his past and belonged there.

                Germany closed up the attic and headed back to his study. He ran into Italy who looked a bit dazed... ok, more dazed than usual. Germany had to blink, because he could have sworn Italy looked a lot like the girl in the green dress. But he couldn't be.

                "Are you alright?" Germany asked concerned.

                "Yeah, I'm just tired. My eyes are tired from looking at a screen all day."

                "Get some rest then." Germany lightly ruffed up Italy's hair and headed downstairs.

                "...Germany?" Italy asked quietly. Germany turned to look at Italy; there was something else going on, there had to be.

                "Ja?"

                Italy walked up to Germany and gave him a hug around his chest. It was a tight one, not that it bothered Germany physically. Germany hugged Italy back, in the protective way that he had grown accustomed to doing over the past few years. "Do you want to talk about it?"

                "No."

                Italy never wanted to talk about it, though no doubt the subject always changed.

 

_Prussia was in his uniform that he wore during the Seven Year's War. His sword was at his side, and his hat was on his head. A gentle wind played on the hills around the area. Gilbird chirped as he came flying back to Prussia, landing on top of the hat. There was an eeriness in the land, and it bothered Prussia. What new danger had come to his land?_

_A black eagle came flying over to Prussia, baring a letter sealed with Holy Roman Empire's mark. Prussia did not open it; instead, he ran off to where his brother was at, which was an empty castle on the border of their lands._

_Holy Roman Empire was sitting on the stone throne in the middle of this castle. There was nothing else in this building, except for weeds and fading flowers. He had this sad look on his face, almost scared._

_"What is it?" Prussia asked as he walked up to Holy Roman Empire. There is a cold feeling in his stomach._

_Holy Roman Empire doesn't answer at first. Instead, he draws out Prussia's sword and strokes the blade on its sharp edge. "War is coming, Prussia," Holy Roman Empire said._

_"There is always some war," Prussia scoffed haughtily._

_"I don't think I'm going to make it out alive this time around."_

_"Please tell me you're joking." Holy Roman Empire looks up at Prussia. His eyes are scared. "No, you aren't, are you?" Prussia said, more as a statement than a question._

_Holy Roman Empire placed a finger at the tip of his sword. "We nations live and die by the blade. This time it is my turn. One day, it will be yours. This is how our world works. This one law that determines our fate."_

_"Bruder..."_

_"I... I'm not ready for this, Prussia..." Holy Roman Empire looked up at Prussia, "I don't want to die."_

_"Hey, you won't die. You know why? Because_ you _are the awesome Holy Roman Empire. You will live."_

_A patch of blood appears in the middle of Holy Roman Empire's chest. "Are you sure?" Holy Roman Empire asked, his voice cracking from the tears._

_"I'll protect you," Prussia said, trying not to sound panicked, "I pro..."_

_"Prussia, why make a promise you know you cannot keep?" Holy Roman Empire said as scars, bruises, and other war marks appeared all over his body, most noticeably in the face. His eyes rolled back and he fell in to Prussia's arms._

                Prussia opened his eyes and tried not to cry as he left his dream. True, he was alone on his bed in his room, but he had promised himself long ago to not cry over Holy Roman Empire anymore. Because he was alive in Germany, even if his brother continued to deny the fact. What made him feel awful was what dream Holy Roman Empire said about living and dying by the sword. Then, yes, that was the rule of the world. But in modern times, the sword had become more of an art piece than a weapon of warfare. If anything, it would be by gunshot.

                'Nein, it's more than that,' Prussia thought as he turned onto his other side. To die in battle, that was what the dream really meant. To go out with a bang, to be glorified by the awesome sacrifice of life made. Things that Prussia knew wouldn't be his fate when he did finally fade from the realm of the living. And while he did live a life that he was proud of, he wished that his passing would be just as awesome as his life.

                He looked at his clock. It was only 2 in the morning. Prussia closed his eyes again, and tried to fall back asleep. But it would come; he just lay there, thinking about death and the meaning of life. 'Gottverdamit, I shouldn't be thinking about any of this right now,' he thought as he pounded on his mattress with his fist.

                The hours til dawn went by slowly. Prussia wanted to go back to sleep, but his mind wouldn't calm down enough to let him. When six rolled around, Prussia gave up on sleep and sat up in his bed. Maybe he'd take a nap later on in the day, or just overdose of coffee.

                Prussia heard footsteps on the stairs. Confused, he got up, threw on some clothes, and went to check on who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a fun little tidbit: the star that Italy was looking at is meant to be the north star. The north star, the guiding star that people look at to find their way.  
> Small translation note, Gesu is Jesus in Italian. As for everything else, I got it off rosary center that also told me how to use Catholic prayer beads.


	12. Chapter 12

                Italy forced himself to wake up before dawn. He didn't like it; he'd rather just stay in the nice warm bed next to Germany all day. And he would have if it was any other day.

                Quietly, Italy got out of bed and put on some clothes. He put on a long sleeved shirt with a vest and black pants; it was too cold out for anything less. He had been debating about bringing an umbrella, but decided against it as the rain was not all that heavy and it stopped by the time he got downstairs anyway. It wasn't like he was going to out for long. Italy slipped on his boots and proceeded to tie them. His fingers fumbled with the laces; not from inexperience, but because his mind was in a different place. It already was on the little journey he was about to make.

                "Ita, what are you doing this early?" Prussia asked, coming into the room. He looked and sounded tired. His zip up sweatshirt was falling off his shoulder on the left side.

                "Just going to take a walk," Italy answered, hoping Prussia knew what he meant.

                Prussia blinked slowly and looked at Italy with confusion. Then he shrugged it off and disappeared in the kitchen.

                Italy stood up and walked outside. He looked at the flower beds that he prepared and debated about going to the back and getting a forget-me-not. After a moment, Italy went around to the back and took one of the edelweiss, then headed up the road going east. Mist settled on the air like a cold blanket; it was going to be a long walk.

 

_Germany looked at the book that was in his hands. It was an old book, leather bound with rough yellowed pages. A good portion of it was written in it, dated like a diary. But the writing stopped at the date: August 6, 1806. On that page, it was blood stained and the words were illegible. Actually, most of the words in the book, as Germany flipped through it, were smudged so that they were unreadable._

_"I never said you could read that," a young voice growled._

_Germany looked from his book to see Holy Roman Empire, looking up at Germany with a pissed face, hands on his hips. Even though the younger nation was a third of Germany's height, Germany still felt intimidated by him. It was those piercing, blue eyes that were sharp as arrows._

_"It's not like i can read it anyway," Germany said quietly, handing back the book._

_"You can read cursive," Holy Roman Empire pointed out grumpily._

_"Not your handwriting."_

_"You should be able to read it; it's still your handwriting." Holy Roman Empire looked at the pages of the book with confusion. "There's nothing wrong with it," he said, shaking his head, "There must be something wrong with you." The younger nation flipped to the last written page and showed Germany. The words had now turned into a picture of Holy Roman Empire in the middle of a battlefield under a red sky holding a bloodstained sword. Germany turned away._

_"I am fine with not knowing."_

_"But I am not, because you are hurting her. She is still mourning even though there is no reason to." With that Holy Roman Empire disappeared, leaving the book on the ground. Germany went over to the book to put it away, but when he touched it he got sucked into the pages of the book._

_Holy Roman Empire (role assumed by Germany), with his deeply bleeding wounds, tried to escape the battle. He used his sword as a cane as he went to the forest nearby. He collapsed at the base of a tree by a stream. His vision was fading into blurs of color._

_"Looks like I won't be coming home after all, Italy," he said out loud to no one._

_A tall, older man blocks the sun from Holy Roman Empire's eyes. He had blond hair that just went passed his shoulders. He made no sound, but raised up his sword and plunged it in Holy Roman Empire's heart._

                Germany woke up with a start, the memory of the dream already fading fast. He sat up in a panic; something was wrong, he could feel it. It probably was just some of the dream still lingering with his senses. He looked over to where Italy had been lying, but he was not there. 'Odd,' Germany thought. Italy was usually still sleeping.

                Germany quickly got dressed and went downstairs where Prussia was at the kitchen table with a bowl of milk-drenched cereal and a mug of lukewarm coffee.

                "Where's Italy?" Germany asked.

                "Out," Prussia said with his mouth full of cereal. He looked tired.

                "Out?" Germany asked confused. Italy never went out in the morning, unless it was something important.

                "Yeah, said something about going for a walk." Prussia took the spoon he was using and stirred the coffee absentmindedly.

                "Where?"

                Prussia shrugged. "Dunno. He didn't say."

                Germany didn't have a good feeling about this at all. Italy never really went out without being with someone. 'Though maybe his brother came over… Ja, that's probably it.' Germany put on a jacket; he didn't believe it for a moment.

                "Are you alright, Prussia?" Germany asked before he left.

                "Ja, I'm fine," Prussia said, waving at Germany to go, "I'll be better after another cup of coffee."

                Germany raised an eyebrow but didn't pursue the topic. He walked outside. The mist-like rain descended on the town, making it colder than what it should have been. Germany carried his umbrella as he walked about the area. After going through the town, he went outside of it, towards the east.

                Germany passed by a graveyard. He didn't see anyone in there, but the gate wasn't latched either. 'Odd,' Germany thought as he walked into the area. He wandered a bit, reading the names of the fallen (at least on the ones that were still legible, until he saw Italy. He was kneeling on the ground, holding his rosary in his hands. He looked completely drenched, and he didn't have an umbrella with him either. Or a rain jacket. He did have a long sleeved shirt on, but that never does anything to keep the rain off.

                "Italy?" Germany said tentatively.

                Italy looked up and it was the worst sight that Germany had seen on this Italian's face for a long time. His eyes were red and he looked so worn down with grief. "I… I…" Italy started saying, but he could not get the words out, like they were stuck in his throat and refused to come out.

                Germany got on his knees and gave Italy a hug. "What's wrong, Italy?" Germany asked quietly.

                Italy couldn't speak, but cried hard on Germany's shoulder. He let Italy do so. Looking at the altar, Germany realized it was the one that Prussia made for Holy Roman Empire. "Did… did you know him?" Germany asked once Italy's crying was quieter. He already knew the answer; of course Italy knew Holy Roman Empire. Why else would he be there? Germany was more concerned with the connection.

                "Mmm," Italy said quietly, "He… he was... my first love…"

                Germany's eyes widened with shock and surprised. Memories that were once inaccessible to Germany came flooding into his consciousness like a tidal wave.  _"Italy, will you teach me how to paint?" "Italy, will you join me and become apart of my empire?" "Italy, I will be back for you, I promise." "Italy, I have loved you since the 900's." "No matter how many years pass, I will love you always, Italy."_  "Mien Gott."

                Germany realized Italy was passed out and so he picked him up and brought him home. All the while, trying to keep himself together as the rush of memories sprung into his head. Memories of Italy, the girl whom he promised he'd come back to. 'How did I never realize Italy was a boy?' Hindsight is always 20/20, but Germany had forgotten that fact at that moment.

                Germany got into the house and headed for the stairs going up to the second level. Prussia was in the sitting room, staring at the ceiling. His laptop was on the coffee table in front of the couch that Prussia had claimed. He stood up as soon as Germany entered carrying Italy.

                "West… what happened?"

                "He was at Holy Roman Empire's alter."

                "Oh," Prussia said, looking thoughtful, "Is it that day already?"

                Germany looked at Prussia with an eyebrow raised. "The day I disappeared?" he guessed. 'How does Prussia know about this?'

                "No, the day you went off to that war. More or less the same thing for someone left behind."

                "…does he do this every year?"

                "Ja, since he found out about the altar on accident some time ago. He stops by here after he goes to visit there. He told me not to tell you though and you're usually working and you never asked about it."

                Germany nodded as another metaphorical knife plunged into his conscience. He brought Italy upstairs into the guest room and laid him down on the bed. He changed Italy out of the wet clothes and into sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Not what Italy usually wears, but the Italian needed something warm for he was frozen to the bone. Germany's mind was rushing with memories of his past life, when he was the Holy Roman Empire. "I'm sorry, Italy. I'm so sorry," he kept saying over and over again as he rubbed Italy's hands to get them to warm up.

                Germany had no idea how he was going to fix this problem.

 

_Italy was at Mr. Austria's house, sweeping the floor as he usually did. Mr. Austria was not there; Italy had no idea where he went. No one really told Italy anything anyway. Big brother France was visiting as well, but Italy didn't know where he was at either._

_Italy heard footsteps in the hall. Looking up, he saw Prussia in his uniform looking extremely pissed off. Out of fear, Italy backed up against the wall._

_"Oh, hello, Italy," Prussia said friendly enough, "Do you know where France is?" His tone changed to something a bit more evil and hostile._

_Italy shook his head._

_"Damn it!" Prussia exclaimed, turning away from Italy. Under his breath, he said, "When I find him, I'm going to kill him."_

_Italy still heard though. "I thought you and France were friends," Italy said timidly._

_"Yeah, that was before he murdered my brother," Prussia said through clenched teeth._

_"What?" Italy asked curiously. Prussia had many brothers._

_"Have you not heard?"_

_Italy shook his head. He felt his stomach drop for some reason._

_Prussia took a deep breath and was going to say something, but then he saw someone at the end of the hall. Looking, Italy saw that it was Big Brother France. "Hey!"_

_France looked up, saw Prussia, and looked down at his feet in a way that Italy never saw him look before._

_Prussia ran up to him and slapped him hard in the face. "How could you?" Prussia hissed. True, it was quieter than yelling, but it was worse for Italy. The hostility in Prussia's voice was unmistakable._

_France didn't answer. He just quietly took the blow._

_"Big Brother France?" Italy asked walking up to them, "What happened?"_

_France didn't say anything at first. "Holy Roman Empire… he isn't coming back."_

                And Italy was still trying to cope with that fact. 'I wonder if this is how France feels about Joan?' Italy wondered as he opened his eyes. He was in the guest room, for once. The cat that Germany was so embarrassed about sitting next to Italy's head as if watching him like a guardian angel.

                Italy sat up. He still felt awful. He didn't think that he would cry as hard as he did. But with Germany there, he felt like he could just completely let go of all his emotions. The floodgate had been opened and there was nothing Italy could have done to stop it. It wasn't just about Holy Roman Empire. It seemed to be that all of Italy's bad memories would resurface around this time and it hurt Italy badly. He did hear once that emotional pain can hurt as much as physical pain. He certainly believed it.

                Italy picked up the cat and held it close to him. He didn't like being alone. That was why he always slept with someone; so he wouldn't feel alone. Being alone was a feeling Italy tried to avoid at all costs. Because of the mansion. Because of Holy Roman Empire. Because of Romano. Because of Grandpa Rome. Because of all the people who kept disappearing from his life in some form or another.

                The door to the bedroom opened up and Prussia came in. "Hey, Ita, you're awake. West was beginning to worry you might have caught a cold."

                Italy shook his head; he didn't feel sick, just a bit empty. That day always made him feel like that. "Where is Germany?"

                "In the kitchen, making dinner."

                Italy went downstairs quietly. He looked at Germany cooking away from the doorway for a little bit before hugging him from the back.

                "Italy! Are... are you feeling better?"

                Italy didn't respond. He just stayed there in that position, taking in Germany's scent. It was comforting to Italy, because it reminded him of Holy Roman Empire. And that reassured Italy that he was safe.

 

**A Few Days Later**

                Prussia was getting ready to head over to Switzerland with a grouchy kind of attitude. He was pissed that Germany would wear the costume the Prussia had made for him. His whole plan, destroyed before his very eyes. Ok, maybe that's being too dramatic, but this is Prussia we are talking about. Prussia looked at the clothes bags that was hung up in his closet. 'I could force him into the costume… but then it wouldn't be as awesome as it could be… damn it, bruder, why do you have to mess up my plans?'

                Prussia took out his own bag from the closet and put it in his suitcase. Then he turned back and looked at Germany's. Was it even worth bringing it along if Germany wouldn't wear it?

                Germany came into the room. Out of habit, Prussia closed the closet door and tried to look innocent. Germany gave his brother a questioningly look, then shook his head and simply said, "I'll wear it."

                "Wear what?" Prussia asked.

                "The costume you had made for me. I'll wear it." He didn't look too happy about it, but he didn't look completely mad about it either. He looked just sad than anything.

                Prussia's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?"

                Germany nodded, and smiled slightly.

                "Yes!" Prussia did a happy dance in the middle of the room. So, his plan would be able to be up into motion after all.

                "You don't have to make such a big deal about it," Germany groaned, rolling his eyes, "Ready to go?"

                Prussia carefully shoved Germany's bag into the suitcase and closed it up. "Now I am, West." Prussia grinned. This was going to be the best party ever, especially since now Germany was falling into Prussia's little plan. For once, this plan wasn't anything destructive. And in the end, it was for Germany and Italy's sakes.

                And he couldn't wait for everyone's faces, especially Germany's, when Prussia got to wear his costume.

 

**General Flashback**

_Holy Roman Empire gasped as France's sword plunged into his chest. His breath felt as though it was sucked away, and he fell to his knees. France took out the blade and stared hard at the nation. Holy Roman Empire looked back, with anger, confusion, and sadness. After a time of staring, France walked away without saying a word._

_Holy Roman Empire could feel his life slipping away with each step he took. He escaped the battle field and took shelter under a tree in the forest that was by a river. He didn't even attempt to clean his wounds; he knew he was dying and no amount of cleaning would change that._

_He didn't know how long he was there. A day. A month. A year. Time was lost to the fallen nation. He could feel his memories slipping away from him. The ones concerning Italy stayed with him the longest, but even those too started to dull and be forgotten._

_Eventually, Prussia found Holy Roman Empire. At that point, it was too late. The boy was no longer completely Holy Roman Empire. The same body, yes, but his memories were almost completely gone._

_"Who are you?" Prussia asked, kneeling down, looking as though a ghost was in front of him._

_"Holy… Rome…" was all the boy could say, even though it wasn't entirely true anymore._

_Prussia picked up the boy and carried him homewards. "I thought you had died, bruder," Prussia said through his tears._

_The boy looked at the paintbrush in his hands. Libiste. That was the word that came to mind. There was another name... but the boy at that point had forgotten it. He carved "Libiste" into the wooden handle of the paintbrush. 'I will find you again, Libiste. One day…' The boy passed out, knowing that for the time being, he was safe._

 

                "Germany!" Italy came running into Germany's room without any warning. He wanted to see if he could catch a glimpse at the costume before the party. But Germany was already packed and ready to go.

                "What is it, Italy?" Germany asked concerned.

                "I wanted to know if you were ready yet." Italy said, trying not to sound disappointed that he couldn't sneak a glance.

                "Ja. How about you?"

                Italy nodded. "Do you have your costume yet?"

                "Ja... I hope that you will like it."

                "I'm sure I will. Anything looks good on you, Germany." Of course, Italy had in mind the April Fool's Day that was planned by Spain and France. Germany didn't look half bad in the maid's outfit he was forced into. Though all the same, Italy laughed his butt off seeing Germany in it. Looking good in it had nothing to do with it; Italy had never thought that Germany would ever be seen wearing a dress. Yet, the evidence of it still was around as a photograph. Several actually.

                "It's just that its... going to be a bit different."

                "If it's the dress you wore for April Fools..."

                "Nein! I'll never wear that thing again."

                "Never say never, Germany," Italy said in a sing-song manner, wagging his index finger in the air. "Even so, after seeing that, I don't think anything will surprise me."

                "We'll see..." Germany avoided Italy's eyes, instead looking at the legs of the chair that was to Italy's left.

                "Germany, why don't you just tell me?" Italy asked, sitting down on Germany's bed.

                "Because Prussia wants to keep it a secret. And... for once I agree with him."

                Italy pouted playfully. True, he wanted to know, but there was some fun about keeping a secret. It would be like a birthday present for Italy when he found out. "Alright then, but i won't tell you what I'm being then." Italy crossed his arms and had an evil, determined smirk on his face.

                "I know what you are being," Germany said, rolling his eyes, "I saw you in the dress. Remember?"

                "I have the right to change my mind you know," Italy teased. He was just playing around with Germany. He was going to wear the dress to the party, with the cat ears and tail.

                Germany looked confused. "But... I do... I want to see you in... you should wear the dress to the party."

                "If you insist, Captain." Italy stood up and eskimo kissed Germany.

                Germany blushed hard which made Italy smile.

 

                Before they left for Switzerland, Germany stopped by the altar alone. He had in his hand an iron cross, with something etched into it. He had no idea how he was going to explain everything to Italy, but somehow, Germany knew he had to tell the Italian. For closure on a life left behind.

                He put the cross on the alter and looked up to heaven. He prayed, something he didn't do too often. 'God, give me strength,' he prayed, 'Give me strength and wisdom to explain to Italy. And give him understanding. I never knew. I just... never knew…' Germany should have asked; he knew he should have. But all the same, Italy never wanted to talk about it. He'd always change the topic or just stay quiet. Not to say he blamed Italy for any of this; on the contrary, Germany placed all blame on himself.

                Germany stood up, and walked out of the graveyard. On the cross he left behind, he had written: Ich bin das Heiliges Römisches Reich.

                I am the Holy Roman Empire.


End file.
